Tag Archives: semen

What To Do With Unused Semen!

OvalOffice

A group of leading female legislators have enacted a new bill that forbids American men from disposing of “unused” sperm, requiring them to bring any recreational semen to a nearby fertility clinic.

According to noted alternative facts specialist, Stephanie Yorke, sperm is intended for “procreation only” and not to be “wasted” on pleasure: “Any sperm not being used for the purpose of procreation must be immediately donated to a sperm bank,” Yorke warned. “Failure to do so will lead to hefty fines and ultimately, incarceration, under the new ‘Level Playing Field Bill’.”

In response, leading male medical academics have raised concerns that refraining from masturbation would be hazardous to men’s testicular health, increasing their chances of prostate cancer.

Dr. David Ambrose hit out at the bill, claiming it put American men in the very difficult position of having to father and immediately surrender a child, everytime they ejaculate. He claims this will have very negative effects on men’s long-term mental health.

Read More on BurrardStreetJournal!

 

Blowjobs to Combat Morning Sickness?

morning-sickness-cartoon

Gordon Gallup proposed a solution for women suffering from morning sickness: cum. Loads and loads of jizz.

The Psychologist theorizes that morning sickness isn’t an aversion to food; it’s response to the body’s immune system thinking it’s sick, because that there’s a baby made of half foreign genetic material growing inside of it. He says it resembles the response of your body to a night of excessive drinking. There’s no more alcohol in your stomach, but your body is still trying to expel it. Bering explains,

To understand where [Gallup’s] coming from, we need to think back to the maternal immune system’s response to the fetus. Because half of the DNA the fetus is carrying comes from the father, the mother’s body may initially treat the organism as foreign tissue or an infection. This response, Gallup says, triggers an immune reaction that is commonly experienced as nausea, vomiting, and malaise (aka morning sickness). The best cure for this type of sickness, says Gallup, is, strangely enough, the same thing as its cause.

Gallup thinks that since the baby is half the men and half the woman’s genetic material, the only way for a woman to stop vomiting is to make the baby less foreign to the mothers whom. By ingesting or filling herself in her child’s father’s semen!

The cure is simple it’s exposure to the father’s genetic material. Writes Bering,

This is because conception and childbirth historically meant that a woman foreclosed on any other reproductive opportunities for 2 to 4 years, so pregnancies in which paternal investment was improbable would have meant an enormous gamble. Today, however, technological innovations such as barrier contraceptives (condoms reduce a woman’s exposure to semen that would otherwise become familiar) and artificial insemination mimic some ancestral conditions. The maternal immune system has no way to distinguish between, say, conception by in vitro fertilization and rape.

This theory is untested.

 

Source: Jezebel

The Wednesday Tip – Tell Her When It’s Time!

TheArtofBlowjob

TheArtofBlowjob

Tell Her When It’s Time

Facials often come as a surprise for her; sometimes she can know you well enough to know when you’re about to finish, but if you don’t speak up, it can be hard to tell – so help her out!

If you’re going to do it on her face, make sure she wants it too and make sure she’s ready. If you both like dirty talk, you can play up the anticipation and ask her if she wants it, or maybe she’ll even be the one to ask you.

All the ways are good as long as she’s in on it; she’ll be able to enjoy it more if she can prepare for it, because no woman wants it in her eyes, it burns like fire for a while after!

See Incredible Facials On TheArtofBlowjob!

Pearl Necklace

Good morning!  I’ve got a lot to do today, so I’m starting things early!

This has been making the rounds of the sexier parts of the internet over the past few days, but since it’s right in line with what I do, I thought it’d be fun to share with you guys. A designer named Leah Piepgras has made some really special jewelry. It’s a pearl necklace, only it’s made of silver. What, you ask? Well, see for yourself:

Isn’t that amazing?  I think it’s completely stunning.  I’ve had my fair share of run ins with semen, particularly on The Art of Blowjob, so I can say that this is a pretty great representation.  It’s sexy, it’s beautiful and it’s a conversation starter.  What more could you want in a piece of jewelry?

What would you say if you saw someone you knew wearing it?