A group of leading female legislators have enacted a new bill that forbids American men from disposing of “unused” sperm, requiring them to bring any recreational semen to a nearby fertility clinic.
According to noted alternative facts specialist, Stephanie Yorke, sperm is intended for “procreation only” and not to be “wasted” on pleasure: “Any sperm not being used for the purpose of procreation must be immediately donated to a sperm bank,” Yorke warned. “Failure to do so will lead to hefty fines and ultimately, incarceration, under the new ‘Level Playing Field Bill’.”
In response, leading male medical academics have raised concerns that refraining from masturbation would be hazardous to men’s testicular health, increasing their chances of prostate cancer.
Dr. David Ambrose hit out at the bill, claiming it put American men in the very difficult position of having to father and immediately surrender a child, everytime they ejaculate. He claims this will have very negative effects on men’s long-term mental health.
Read More on BurrardStreetJournal!