I just thought that the beautiful sex-positive activist Kendra Holliday had taken words out of my mouth, when I read how she described TheArtofBlowjob. I will let you discover her blog The Beautiful Kind and the many treasures hidden within it…
Pigging Out on Porn, By Kendra Holliday
What is your relationship to porn? Do you use porn to relieve stress, as a diversion, as a partner substitute, or as a cheap date? Do you respect porn stars and acknowledge they are athletic models of sexual prowess, or do you regard them as social pariahs? (If that’s the case, why are they called “stars”??)
Do you surf free sites until you find something you fancy? That’s like digging through fast food dumpsters for freebies.
Or do you subscribe to a porn star’s site in order to view quality porn and support the person who is getting naked and fucking for your entertainment? These sites can even be educational as well as incredibly sexy. A great example is The Art of Blowjob, which promotes beautiful and respectful sex. YES, facials can be done with love!
I’ve been thinking a lot about porn lately.
I LOVE me some porn. One of my favorite junk food sites is HornBunny – it focuses on incest fantasies. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched this clip of “Daughter Being Talked into Sucking and Fucking Dad.” It’s so wrong and creepy and gets me off every time!
But I’ve noticed porn has been affecting people’s sex lives in negative ways a lot lately – even in MY bedroom!
I enjoy a healthy, happy sex life with my partner, and three times in a row together, he was not able to orgasm. This was unusual for us, so I asked him about it. Naturally, I thought he was losing attraction to me, but he assured me that was not the case. (This is a good example of communicating with your partner – don’t make assumptions and fill in the blanks!)
So he thought about it, and realized that he had taken up a tumblr porn habit as of late – he had it installed on his phone, and would pull it up to view throughout the day during any down or wait time. This messed with his vibe, like snacking on potato chips all day, so that by the time he sat down to dinner, he was no longer hungry.
So he uninstalled it from his phone, and within a week, our sex life was back on track.
I see this happening with a lot of my clients – they don’t have a steady partner, so they use porn as a substitute. They become so dependent on porn, that by the time they get with a real person again, they don’t know how to handle the real person energy – their intimacy psyche is warped and numb.
One of my clients was very porn dependent – he watched it at least an hour a day. When he made a conscious decision to kick the habit, he found himself in a sexual relationship within a month!
I encourage you to think about your relationship with porn – can you enjoy it in a healthy way that benefits you, the porn stars, and the people around you?
Porn is a part of our social fabric. Step back and think about your porn habit – what you watch, and how often, and see if you can’t make adjustments to your routine that will steer you in a more positive direction.
Use the power of porn for GOOD!