I said I wanted to answer more Reddit questions, so that’s exactly what I’ve done. Without further ado, here they are!
Which IDE or text editor do you use? And when and why did you learn to code? (Permutation)
I use Smultron as a text editor. I learned coding in 2002 because Mike had a web development company in need of a coder and I have the brain for it, so it worked out perfectly.
Are there crazy legal hoops you have to jump through in order to operate a porn site, or is it a pretty straight forward process? Any tips on starting out for someone who might want to start their own? (kilgore_rosewater)
It’s not unduly crazy if you’re just a couple, because you only need to have the legal information on yourselves, but if you’re using lots of models, you need to be very proactive about having all the identification and documentation for everyone, readily available too. The best thing I can say is to get a lawyer you trust who has some degree of experience (and respect) for the adult industry so that you can start out right.
How can I convince my wife to let me give her analingus? I don’t want her to reciprocate. Any advice would be awesome. (chiindustry)
The best thing you can do is just to tell her that it’s something you really want to do for her and tell her why you think it would be sexy and would feel good for her. Take a shower together if she likes so that she feels fresh, and then just give it a try. If she really doesn’t like the sensation, then at least you gave it a try, but the right blend of flattery, pleasure and genuine arousal could go a long way.
Do you envy the most famous pornstars? What is porn hierarchy like, is there a lot of jealousy or camaraderie? Do you ever take tricks from others? (Miles703)
I don’t really. I wouldn’t want to be at that level of stardom. I like having some aspects of my life that are still private and I like being able to control my image to suit my real personality. I don’t know if there’s even a hierarchy, since we are all doing different things and taking different paths. For me, I don’t really take tricks from others… I want to cultivate my own skills through my relationship.
One of my biggest questions! I love giving blow jobs. I’ll do it on my own will; I’ll be the one to bring it up. BUT I have a little issue! It’s hard to describe… I use my hand while doing it, and sometimes during the middle and end, something is making it really hard to move my hand. I had a theory that it’s my saliva when it dries and it creates too much friction with my hand? I hope you understand what I mean..it’s really frustrating. And sometimes my mouth gets more dry (not bone dry or anything, just not as…wet as I would like it to be). Is there anything I can do about that? (lalalavalahve)
It sounds to me like the best thing you can do for both of these issues is to try deep throating a bit more, even without your hand for a bit, because it promotes a more viscous saliva, which will help with stroking as well as with the general wetness of your mouth. You could also try some flavoured lubricant, but only if you’re not going to have vaginal sex after, because flavouring usually comes with sugar, and that isn’t great for your natural PH balance.
How do you feel about facials? (snatchyowallet)
I think they’re a perfectly valid way to finish a blowjob/having sex, and I personally like the feeling of getting to experience pleasure in such a visceral and direct way. That said, not everyone likes it, whether it’s because they find it degrading or they just don’t like the feeling. Definitely ask first, and if it is something you really want to try, explain why it arouses you as clearly as possible and have a discussion about it.
My friend thinks no women enjoys giving blowjobs and they all just pretend just to please us. Can you please confirm what I told her- that she’s crazy and tons of women do enjoy it. That would be much appreciated. Thanks for your time. (jdscarface)
Well, I wouldn’t advise calling her crazy since people don’t generally like that, but I would say that myself (as well as many other women, both porn performers and non-porn performers alike) really genuinely love giving blowjobs. It’s a very erotic feeling to give pleasure like that, and I get really aroused when I give a blowjob. That doesn’t mean everyone on earth loves them, but we certainly exist!
Being a girl who doesn’t mind porn once in a while, hell named my car after a porn star sometimes when I tell other girls about this I get a look as if I’m disgusting. How do you deal with the disgusting looks when you tell people about your work? (madusa77)
I can’t say I’ve had too many disgusting looks in my life, but even some of the more negative experiences I’ve had in terms of online reactions to what I do have felt on par. I think the main thing I do is that I clearly explain what I love about my work, but don’t engage in back and forth with people who aren’t at least open-minded. Ultimately, people can like or dislike porn, but they can’t put me down if I don’t let them.
Is there any difference in technique when giving head to cut or uncut penises? (rddrmm)
I have been focused on my boyfriend for nearly two decades now, and he happens to be circumcised, but I think that the differences aren’t extremely drastic. As with any penis, you should start gentle and see how they react to more intense stroking and sucking… Everyone has a different comfort zone. Asides from that, you can explore the foreskin more, but by they time they’re fully erect, there’s often not really a noticeable difference at all.
Back before the evolution of multicellular life, I had my first time and it was stressful and unenjoyable mainly because I came at it more as a test or competition, a way to live up to some ideal lover that I’d built up in my poor little virgin mind, than to actually enjoy sex as a shared experience with flaws and experiments and fun. It took me years to really come out of my shell, and, in subsequent relationships, I’ve discovered a lot of women have this same problem (I’m straight cis male, ftr).
I guess what I’m asking is what you think about this issue. Do recall being nervous when you were younger and inexperienced, and reacting by trying to live up to an ideal or by otherwise putting on a show more than enjoying the act? What do you think about the process that comes after (hopefully), when people start to realize that sex isn’t about being superman/woman in bed, but about fun? Do you have any advice for people who have yet to have sex or are still in the phase of not enjoying sex or trying to live up to an ideal? Thanks! (Willravel)
It’s hard to give any really specific advice, since you have summed it up quite nicely, except just to be honest about your experience level and open to learning and trying new things. The more you can think of it as a fun process as opposed to something you need to be “perfect” at right from the get go, the more wonderful sensations you’re likely to uncover.
I noticed that you said model, and not porn star. What diffrentiates the two in your opinion? (sorry for spelling, im on an iphone) (conman_127)
I switch between porn model and performer, but I tend to avoid star because it sounds a little too conceited somehow. Performer or model are kind of interchangeable to me, but they’re not the best description of what I do either. I just make porn with the person I love. :)
I do not wish to be branded a social or even a sexual puritan (which most probably I ain’t) and I full respect this lady’s choice as her line of work, as well as I understand the visibility she’s getting (being front-paged), but I’ve got to ask: Why should jobs regarding human sexuality be as a big deal, either receiving undeserving scorn from the puritans or undeserving praise by the more liberal parts of society?
I’m completing my PhD Thesis on engineering and I’m willing to bet that I and my colleagues went through a significant greater amount of pain to achieve what little recognizability we may have. And in our line of work -I believe- we have far greater chance -as history showed us- to change the world and the whole universe if need be.
I do not wish to dish the lady out, but it’s an honest wonderment of mine. Why shan’t professions be praised or damned depending on their capacity to add to the human condition? I do not deny the central part of sexuality to humans but it seems to me that most professions regarding it has not changed much for thousands of years. Maybe the Internet makes a difference but again not enough to deem it “earth-shattering” (regarding this line of work)…
Again, I thank the lady of her services, I’m sure there are a lot of people glad for her work and I’m sorry if I sound condescending or offensive that was not my intent… :( (Enginer-no21312)
I decided to respond to this question because it really stuck out to me as couched in some odd assumptions. The main thing about an AMA is that anyone can do one, so you should too if you want. As for the response, people are interested in sex, that which is taboo and the people who seek to undo those taboos. Engineering is great, but it’s not transgressive and it doesn’t break down social barriers, so it’s not as likely to get the same kind of interest level. It’s too bad that sex is still considered shocking, but that’s the way society is right now. In that respect, by attempting to normalize desire, pleasure and sex in general, I think I’m adding to the human condition in a way. It’s a different way to go about things than what you’re doing, but it doesn’t make what I do without merit.
Do people actually use social media to share pornographic videos? (gospelwut)
They sure do! Especially Twitter and Tumblr. They’re pretty big adult hubs.
Do you and your boyfriend ever have sex/blowjobs off of camera just because or do you end up filming everything to be able to put it on your site? (Wasted Barbarian)
We have lots of sex and even a fair number of blowjobs off-camera, because it really adds to our relationship and our sexual balance. It’s not to say that filming our sex life takes away from it, but it’s good to have times where it’s just us and just for us.
What are your views on circumcision? Do you prefer a guy cut or uncut? (qmanoulton)
He generally speaking isn’t the one to choose, so why should I care? I think it’s hard to say whether it’s a good thing or not, because there are countless reasons why it’s done or not done. I try to focus on enjoying what you have!
If you don’t mind me asking. After a few years, let alone 17, you would think a couple would be having less sex than before. How often do you give him BJs or do you have sex? I know being your profession makes it happen more than a typical couple who has been together longer than the “honeymoon” phase, but your site (and it’s effective advertising) makes it seem you guys still have frequent engagements? Do you find it hard to find time or are you going at it every night?! (tossout1231a)
We tend to have sex outside of what we film at least a few times a week. It’s normal to us, as we’re both still very turned on by each other, and it’s one of the central ways in which we share our connection. Of course, things ebb and flow, but keeping our sex life active both on and off camera is a great deal of the reason why we’re still so happy nearly 17 years in.