Tag Archives: Porn

Watching Porn Together

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Looking up something sexy online

I always love hearing about people’s porn viewing habits, and I especially find it really charming to hear about how people experience porn as a couple, so I really smiled when I read this article on xoJane (and the commentary) about the logistics of watching porn together…  It’s a nice idea, but there are some considerations to be made, as the author points out.

There’s something charming about the idea of being honest with your partner about the kinds of porn you want to watch together, because you really learn more about each other and your desires.  It opens up conversations and the possibility for trying something new.  Then, of course, there’s also the issues with how you watch your porn (and, more importantly, the importance of not knocking any laptops/iPads off the bed in the process) which is always something to consider.  But probably most important of all is how you watch the porn as a couple.  Do you focus on the porn?  Do you not touch at all at first to build anticipation?  Do you play with yourself?  Or with each other?  Are you going to end up entirely ignoring the porn to have lots of hot sex?

There are no wrong answers, but so many great things to negotiate.  You get to see another side of your partner when you watch porn together…  Just watching your partner watch and get engrossed is pretty erotic.  But don’t stare too intently at them, as it tends to make just about anyone a little self-conscious.

I hope you all get the chance to experiment with these different dynamics.  And if The Art of Blowjob or Slow Motion Blowjob ends up making the cut for your mutual viewing pleasure…  So much the better.  ;)

What Makes Us Do Porn?

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This video is a trailer for an upcoming documentary called Aroused about porn actresses in the mainstream.  This actually looks like it could be quite interesting.  Asides from the fact that it looks like there was actual thought put into the cinematography, they’ve styled everyone in very simple, stylish, glamorous implied nudes, at least for the promo.  It’s a very different look than the more typical porn appearance, and I think this is a nice way to strip everything down and allow them to just be.

It’s hard to tell exactly how this film will take shape, but the responses in the trailer alone are enough to make me think that we’ll get a really good insight into how they all feel about the work they do, why they do it and how they got started.  There’s such a stigma that transfers from big porn valley stars to people making their own content…  Why would a nice/smart/pretty girl like you do porn?  Hopefully this film will get the answer out there to the mainstream: there are many reasons, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s anything wrong with us at all.  Maybe we just love sex, love sharing this side of ourselves and feel good having this be such a big part of our lives.

There are also mentions about the difference between “porno sex” and “home sex”, about being fearless about sex and about how it is not always a positive or negative experience…  I think that filmmaker Deborah Anderson seems like she handled all of this in a pretty delicate and thoughtful way.  I hope it comes out online, because I think this would be a very interesting look at the way these women navigate porn in their own words.

What do you think?  Would you be intrigued to see what mainstream female porn performers are thinking and feeling about what they do?

What Do You Focus on in Porn?

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Redhead Camille Crimson gives a gorgeous sucking blowjob

This is something that has always been quite interesting to me…  What do you focus on when you watch porn?  I think, partly because I’m making blowjob videos, this is of particular interest to me…  Is it about the penis/mouth action or the face?  Of course, it doesn’t have to be about one or the other, but it is interesting to think about what draws your attention first or the longest…

Apparently, for men, faces draw their attention first, then they spend some time looking at genitals and back to faces, according to this one study.  Women seem to be more open with what they focus on, which differs depending on whether or not they’re on birth control…  I guess hormones play a role in that, supposedly.  But they mean to say that women have a larger variety of things that can potentially turn them on, whereas men look specifically to faces/genitals as sources of arousal.

Do you think this says anything about why we watch what we watch?  Maybe there is some truth to the idea that women would want overall higher quality porn, as their focus could be drawn to any number of things…  Maybe that’s why there’s a backlash against porn that looks too fake, as it might draw attention away from a naturally beautiful face that would capture a man’s attention in the first place.

What do you think?  You can check out a post about this study and let me know if you find this to be true, and then what this might actually say about what people could want from porn.

School for Porn

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Sexy redhead in lingerie on her Macbook.

Better bone up and get studying, because porn could be coming to a classroom near you…  Namely if you live in Pasedena.  Pasedena City College is running its second iteration of Navigating Pornography, which actually sounds like a really useful course for a lot of people.  Having a thoughtful discussion about  a huge part of our society and our personal lives sounds like a pretty important thing.

The professor (Hugo Schwyzer) had this to say about the reasoning for the class:

“Students today live in a porn-saturated culture and very rarely get a chance to learn about it in a safe, non-judgmental, intellectually thoughtful way.”

That’s a big part of why I have this blog, actually.  I can give my spin on porn and give a place for people to talk about it openly without being judged.  Thought it seems like the porn he features is mostly very mainstream, I think that’s a good thing to deal with when you’re looking at porn critically since it does make up so much of what we see.  That said, if they ever wanted to include something from The Art of Blowjob, I would be flattered!

Would you sign up for a class like this?  What would you want to learn from it…  And how many students do you think are just (initially) in it to see breasts?  :P

Real “Real Porn”

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Fleshbot brought this (apparently Canadian) film to my attention today.  It’s called My Awkward Sexual Adventure and it’s all about a guy learning how to give pleasure to his girlfriend before they get married…  It sounds like kind of an implausible situation, but the truth is that we could probably all use a little bootcamp in how to listen and give pleasure.

What it really got me thinking about was mostly based on the isolated sex scenes Fleshbot had spliced together.  They were so awkward, but also so real…  And fairly uncomfortable when sex stopped because of texting…  Don’t do that.  The thing is, there’s clearly a lot of talk about realness in porn, but there’s a limit, right?  We want to see communication (whether verbal or physical) and fragility, but still see the kind of sex we want to be having.

Where is that line for you in porn?  Do you want to see people communicating what they want in bed, even if that means negative feedback?  Do you want to see awkward moments or bloopers?  Do you want to see people who don’t look too poised or put together?  I’d love to know what “real porn” means for you, and how real is just too real.

Helping Happy Relationships with Beautiful Porn

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Naked while giving a sensual blowjob

I’m in Miami, so this is just a quickie Q+A response, but one near and dear to my heart for a lot of reasons:

Do you get much feedback about your impact on relationships? I doubt that everyone is comfortable with the knowledge that their spouse or lover is getting off thanks to the work that you and Mike do.

We actually get a ton of really wonderful feedback from happy couples who watch our porn.  Whether it’s young couples finding out what makes them tick together or older empty nesters discovering what the internet has to offer to reignite their passion, we get a ton of solid response from people who have used our porn to explore and connect together.  It’s one of the nicest feelings in the world to know that we’re a little part of that.

There’s also a lot of response from people who are nervous to share what we do with their partner, so I try to help encourage people to be open without making it seem like what we do is an ideal for their relationship or that porn is necessary to keep them interested…  Just to honestly share the fact that they find it interesting and sexy to see what it might be able to stoke in their relationship by watching it together.  It’s amazing how well that often seems to work.  Sometimes the significant other will even contact later to say that they’re happy they found out about our kind of porn.

There was even a response once from someone who was initially kind of jealous about her boyfriend’s fascination with our site, but I was able to diffuse the situation and try to contextualize to both of them that porn can be a good thing to enjoy together, but it shouldn’t be something that comes before each other.

How about you?  Do any of you have stories of introducing or enjoying porn as a couple?