This is one of the best articles I’ve read on Good Men Project in a long time, and it actually links up nicely with our recent discussion about men feeling wanted vs. needed. This is specifically about how men’s sexuality is always seen as aggressive, how they always have to be told to back off and stop and how all of this ends up hurting everyone involved, and I totally agree.
So much of why my sites focus on the give and take, the playfulness and the joy of mutual pleasure from giving/receiving pleasure and on being neutral as opposed to having either of us always in control… I don’t like the idea that men are always in charge, or that a woman in charge is always a kinky thing. Humans are so much more complex than that, and it leads to bad things when men have all the responsibility, and certainly when women are intimidated by men sexually because of it.
I think that so many of the people here in this community are gentle men, or at least men who are capable of being gentle. There are so many parts of our society who default to thinking men are always brutish, especially in sex. This collective alone shows that this is not the only case. But how do we spread that to everyone else? Well, this article has 5 really great steps to do exactly that. They want men to be allies to women in their struggles, they want men to communicate actively and listen, to be open instead of always trying to play games or seduce us by the book, to be reasonable and understanding when rejection happens and to find ways to feel beautiful in a world that doesn’t hold male beauty in high regard.
A lot of these things have been touched on here, and I think that’s wonderful. I’m wondering, how many of you feel impacted by this notion of male sexuality as demonized? How has this experience impacted the way you have sex, the way you see yourself as sexual and the way you interact with people in other ways?