Tag Archives: ejaculation

Where’s the Bone in Boning?

All male mammals have penises. Did you know that humans are one of the two primate species lacking a “baculum” or penis bone!  Whales, rabbits, elephants, horses also lack a bone in their manhood.



Where’s the bone?

Some species have a bone to help the male maintain his erection long enough to penetrate the female and deliver the sperm. This bone, baculum, is in the male’s abdomen until he needs it. When he does his abdomen muscles contract pushing into into the penis, making an hard erection.

Speed is of the essence in nature, having to wait for the penis to fill with blood is too long for many species. The male lion, thanks to his baculum, can copulate 250 times in four days.

Where’s our bone?

As stated in IFLScience:

“Well, the reason is not entirely clear, but it’s believed to be down to our mating systems and strategies. In the 30th anniversary edition of his book, The Selfish Gene, evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins suggested the lack of a human baculum is the result of “sexual selection” by female humans looking for healthy males.

That is, having a penis that relies on “hydraulics” to become erect (rather than a bone) means there will be some males with poor erectile function. If Dawkins is right, an innate female desire to guage a male’s suitability as a mate was responsible for “selecting” a penis that shows such suitability (or lack thereof).

Interestingly, our closest living relatives, including the chimpanzee, possess penis bones, but those bones are very small. It is possible that our primate relatives may too eventually lose their bacula.

Indeed, perhaps it’s more a question of why the other great apes still have bacula, rather than why we humans lack them. Complete loss of a baculum in humans seems to just continue a trend towards baculum size reduction which is found among the great apes.”



Pigging Out on Porn, from The Beautiful Kind!

I just thought that the beautiful sex-positive activist Kendra Holliday had taken words out of my mouth, when I read how she described TheArtofBlowjob. I will let you discover her blog The Beautiful Kind and the many treasures hidden within it…

Pigging Out on Porn, By Kendra Holliday 

What is your relationship to porn? Do you use porn to relieve stress, as a diversion, as a partner substitute, or as a cheap date? Do you respect porn stars and acknowledge they are athletic models of sexual prowess, or do you regard them as social pariahs? (If that’s the case, why are they called “stars”??)

Do you surf free sites until you find something you fancy? That’s like digging through fast food dumpsters for freebies.

Or do you subscribe to a porn star’s site in order to view quality porn and support the person who is getting naked and fucking for your entertainment? These sites can even be educational as well as incredibly sexy. A great example is The Art of Blowjob, which promotes beautiful and respectful sex. YES, facials can be done with love!


I’ve been thinking a lot about porn lately.

I LOVE me some porn. One of my favorite junk food sites is HornBunny – it focuses on incest fantasies. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched this clip of “Daughter Being Talked into Sucking and Fucking Dad.” It’s so wrong and creepy and gets me off every time!

But I’ve noticed porn has been affecting people’s sex lives in negative ways a lot lately – even in MY bedroom!

I enjoy a healthy, happy sex life with my partner, and three times in a row together, he was not able to orgasm. This was unusual for us, so I asked him about it. Naturally, I thought he was losing attraction to me, but he assured me that was not the case. (This is a good example of communicating with your partner – don’t make assumptions and fill in the blanks!)

So he thought about it, and realized that he had taken up a tumblr porn habit as of late – he had it installed on his phone, and would pull it up to view throughout the day during any down or wait time. This messed with his vibe, like snacking on potato chips all day, so that by the time he sat down to dinner, he was no longer hungry.

So he uninstalled it from his phone, and within a week, our sex life was back on track.

I see this happening with a lot of my clients – they don’t have a steady partner, so they use porn as a substitute. They become so dependent on porn, that by the time they get with a real person again, they don’t know how to handle the real person energy – their intimacy psyche is warped and numb.

One of my clients was very porn dependent – he watched it at least an hour a day. When he made a conscious decision to kick the habit, he found himself in a sexual relationship within a month!

I encourage you to think about your relationship with porn – can you enjoy it in a healthy way that benefits you, the porn stars, and the people around you?

Porn is a part of our social fabric. Step back and think about your porn habit – what you watch, and how often, and see if you can’t make adjustments to your routine that will steer you in a more positive direction.

Use the power of porn for GOOD!

Rye on Prematurity

Kissing a cock after a sensual facial cumshot

Today I was very much reminded that one of the things I want to do with this blog is to normalize a whole bunch of different aspects of male sexuality and show people that there are valuable reasons to be just as sensitive to its issues as we try to be with women’s sexuality.  Rye of Uncommon Appetites took to their blog to explain a phenomenon that had been happening to him lately…  He’s been experiencing ejaculation sooner than he would like.

Essentially, his masturbatory habits have become less frequent over time for a variety of reasons and he’s left with a lot more pent-up sexual energy.  He loves pleasing his lovely partner Violet with his hands/mouth/toys, but she also loves it when they have penetrative sex, so they eventually get to a place where the penetrative sex just doesn’t last as long as they want.

This is where things get especially amazing…  They spoke about it together and came up with a solution that totally worked for both of them.  Instead of retreating out of shame or confusion or continuing on, just thinking that something might one day change, they took action.  What did they figure out?  He just needed to come once and get it out of the way and then he’d have a much easier time afterwards.

So, they went right to penetrative sex, they had a bit of fun and he ejaculated, then they kissed and played around until he was ready for round two, which was exactly what they needed.  Perfect, right?

On top of making very sexy videos and sharing lovely glimpses into their lives, Violet+Rye are also real examples of making sex work.  We all go through peaks and valleys, we all have things that sometimes interfere with the natural progression we’d like, but there are ways to communicate, explore, try things and work out a solution.

If you’re having any issues with any degree of premature ejaculation, this is a really great strategy to try.  Who knows?  It might work for you!

Have you ever had a little hurdle to get over, sexually speaking?  What did you do and what did you try?