I know I write blog posts of a similar nature every once in a while, but it truly bares repeating. For the most part, I gloss over little hiccups here and there, like when people are rude or try to push my boundaries. Occasionally, there are days like today, where it seems like every other message I get is from someone who doesn’t quite understand how to treat a lady… And I’m putting that mildly. It’s unpleasant, to say the least.
That said, I never roll my eyes and think that I’m done with all this. I never think that I should hide away from the world. And do you know why? Because there are so many wonderful people who more than outweigh a few jerks. People like you guys, my friends on social media, my fellow adult industry members… You are absolutely my biggest support and encouragement for what I do and I couldn’t be happier.
Hopefully, as the years go by, people will better understand beautiful porn and that might just quell the people who don’t respect my boundaries. But, even if that day never comes, I will still have all of you and I could not be happier for that. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You make it possible to put myself out there and to feel secure and proud. I really appreciate it.
I was perusing through a few blogs and I came across an article called Why Pornstars Hate Facebook. Of course, knowing my track record with Facebook, it piqued my interest. Unfortunately, when I got the comments, I got fairly saddened by how ignorant people are about performers from the porn industry. This is the kind of thing I’m talking about:
All I wanna say is, “Good for you Facebook!” Fuck freedom. I don’t want Plastic Fake Tits spammin’ all over my wall because my teenage nephew would see it. And it would be awkward.
That’s really classy. Because porn performers would somehow be able to spam people’s walls? All we want is fair access to a website which we can utilize to enhance our business, just like every single other business out there.
Wannabe porn stars and their spam is what tanked MySpace. Let’s not let it happen with facebook. Also, there’s the issue of wider use with fb, a lot more older adults, parents etc so it’s a more “sterile” environment, if you will.
Myspace tanked because it allowed way too many ridiculous customizations… Not because of porn performers.
It just goes to show that the masses still aren’t very enlightened when it comes to porn people being real people. I’m just thankful I have wonderful people like those of you who read my blog who know to treat all people. even naked people, with respect.
Today is World AIDS day. HIV/AIDS is still a very important issue in our society. Yes, infection rates are on the decline, but there is still so much left to be done if we want to continue the decline. Everyone needs to get tested. Don’t make assumptions about your status. Once you know, you have absolute peace of mind and you can go on with your life or address it and act accordingly.
If everyone got tested, everyone would know and people would be able to make proactive choices about their health. We’re at a point where if you catch it early, you can be medicated and still be able to live a great life and find ways to enjoy a robust sex life… But only if you know your status and get the necessary information to make the right choices. And seriously, use condoms unless you are in a 100% monogamous and tested relationship. You never know, so don’t take a risk in the name of pleasure.
More than that, we need to reduce the stigma about HIV/AIDS. The only way we can do that is to have lots more education with the truth about how you get it and how you can protect yourself so that people stop making assumptions about people with HIV/AIDS. It’s equally important to empower people with HIV/AIDS to make healthy choices and to be able to enjoy their lives. And lastly, we need to find a cure, a vaccine and better ways to manage symptoms while HIV/AIDS is still so prevalent.
It is actually possible to stop the spread, both here and abroad, and the best way to do that is to support organization that educate, empower and research. So, after you’ve gotten tested and reminded your friends, family and partners to get tested too, open your wallet and give what you can to end HIV/AIDS. There have been many terrible communicable diseases throughout history. We’re not still grappling with them, so there is hope for HIV/AIDS as well. But only if we really care.
Today I wanted to make a slightly more serious post about a really wonderful online response to a terrible situation. As many of you know, there has been a very big rise in LGBTQ teen suicides recently and these poor kids were bullied to the point of thinking death was the only way out. There is absolutely no reason for this culture we live in to be so cruel, for people to be so judgemental and closed-minded. People are so petty and hateful that it feels like the world has forgotten the principle of live and let live. But I know that’s not true, in part thanks to an initiative spear-headed by sex columnist Dan Savage of Savage Love. It’s called It Gets Better and it’s a truly amazing project.
Basically, the project is about the fact that although it’s is unbelievably hard out there for LGBTQ teens, one day you get to make your own life. You can move away, surround yourself with like-minded people, have amazing experiences and live the way you want. LGBTQ adults recount their often extremely difficult experiences growing up and then contrast them with their wonderful, successful, love-filled lives. These videos are heart-warming, sweet, poignant, funny and true. They give solid proof that there is a reason to go on living, even if it seems like there isn’t one right now.
So, that’s all well and good, but what do they do in the meantime? Well, LGBTQ teens have answered that themselves by starting the Make it Better project. It’s a direct response to It Gets Better, but dealing with a way to make things easier right away by becoming active and visible in their communities. It sounds daunting for sure, but by connecting with other LGBTQ and ally students, forming Gay/Straight Alliances and becoming an active member of a community, they are giving themselves strength to deal with bullying and ways to educate and change the minds of their schoolmates. Of course, it’s not all that simple, but this project encourages the empowerment of LGBTQ kids, which is a big step forward.
One of the most amazing videos I’ve seen on the gay teen suicide issue was made by comedian Sarah Silverman. It’s only 28 seconds, but it succinctly explains exactly why this is happening. While It Gets Better and Make It Better are two projects which deal with the LGBTQ reaction to our culture, Sarah‘s video just calls for decency from every single person who makes it hard for these wonderful young people to be happy. It shouldn’t be up to the LGBTQ community to make their lives better in the face of such ridiculously hateful experiences… It should be the leaders of our countries setting an example.
Of course, the atheist in me immediately points the finger at religion, and let’s face it, I’m not wrong. The culture we live in is like this because we’re still clinging to religious teachings and interpretations of sacred texts that encourage the hatred of those who are different from some ridiculous norm. The governments who make decisions about who can get married, who can serve in the armed forces, who can have sex, who can teach kids… Well, where do you think they get their values from that say homosexuality is wrong and that they should be punished? I’m not saying every religious person is a homophobe, just that many religious people pick and choose and twist the words of their holy books to hate others. Plain and simple.
So what can the leaders of our countries do? Question their beliefs and ultimately see that, regardless of their religious affiliation, their holy books don’t tell them to hate and if they do, they shouldn’t be listened to. They should stop being so afraid of the right wing religious vote and stand up for these poor people having to fight each day and giving up before they even reach adulthood. They should stop the cycle of innocent children turning into cruel teens and adults, poisoned by the idea that it’s okay to hurt someone who is different in any way. Make laws that protect LGBTQ people and give them equality, not ones that strip them of their civil liberties. Create curriculums that constantly reinforce that LGBTQ (or any difference) should be more than tolerated, that it should be seen as 100% equal. Empower the LGBTQ community by being present and supporting them, and not just for a photo-op.
Basically, if the laws we make, the shows we produce, the sermons we preach, the news we report, the lessons we teach (etc) keep telling the world that LGBTQ is somehow less than, that’s what many people are going to think. So stop it.