Sometimes I come across an article about mainstream porn that actually makes me smile.  I’m talking grinning ear to ear here.  Porn director Nica Noelle wrote this piece for the Huffington Post and I’m really happy she did, because it’s an anecdote that explains that people in porn are actually often (at least sometimes) are in it because it’s just right for who they are.

She tells the story of the first time she saw a woman who was just meant to radiate natural eroticism while having sex on film.  A young woman named Elexis Monroe.  She wasn’t particularly exciting as a person, and she was pretty but not a great beauty, but she absolutely came alive while having sex, showing her intense passion for sexuality in every little thing she did.  Nica calls this “duende” which is a Spanish dialect word for the spiritual possession someone has for something.  An unseen force…  A je ne sais quoi.

This quotation should be exactly what I send to anyone who asks, out of concern for my well-being, why I make porn:

True artists do exist in porn; quietly, humbly tending to their art despite society’s giggles and mockery. Driven by unseen forces to express their gift, often without knowledge or insight that they even have one. Do they wonder, as others do for them, why they had the bad fortune to “end up” in porn? Do they hate themselves for feeling so self-actualized, so alive, when they’re performing life’s most intimate of acts for a world of strangers? We insist they have no gifts to offer, no special abilities of any worth, only tragic tales of lives gone hopelessly wrong.

I do it because I love it and it feels right.  So do many other people.  Thanks for bringing this to light, Nica.

Sometimes I think I navigate the world just a bit differently because of just how many blowjobs I’ve given over the years.  I’m like that kid from the Sixth Sense, except instead…  I see penises.  I see them everywhere.  Well, no, not really.  But I think I do have a finely tuned eye for phallic details.  But, I’m not alone.  Buzzfeed seems to have the same affliction!

The above photos is the most obvious one.  The cream?  Come on!  Then this one is hilarious largely due to the positioning right in his lap:

But, perhaps my favourite of all are the completely accidental phalluses that crop up in photos made up of “innocent” (but what’s innocent, really?) body parts…  Like this poor woman’s toe!

It might take you a second to spot it…  Unless you’re like me and you have the skill.  They have a bunch more on their site and hopefully you’ll take this little Tuesday afternoon laugh with a grain of salt and enjoy the moment of diversion.  Oh, and feel free to post your favourites here too!

This is an interesting article that has been making its way around the porn-related part of the interwebs today from the New York Times…  It’s a little on the academic side, but it gets to address the idea that some people get really freaked out and upset when there’s “pornographic” sex in movies, especially when it’s not the most authentic representation of sex.  I’m not talking a nude scene here, but actual sex scenes.

The author of the piece (Mireille Miller-Young) suggests that there’s something pretty wrong about how flagrantly up in arms people get about sex in films (and all pop culture, really) when it’s actually explicit or accurate, given how poor most places are about educating their public about sex, but also that it’s understandable when it comes to people who feel like the depiction is just for titillation, and not actually sincere.  If anything, more inclusion of sex would benefit those watching the movies, who might be inspired to learn a bit more about themselves or their partners, but only if it’s realistic…

She continues to suggest that, in fact, sex in porn itself has a lot more to offer an audience than a Hollywood film, so maybe we shouldn’t be so concerned with labels like “pornographic” and be more concerned about showing what sex could be.  What do you think?  Do you think porn can be a good tool for visibility of different ways of having sex?  Do you think that mainstream films could ever catch up to sharing authentic sex?

As you know from reading this blog, I do think a lot.  I love having this space to share my thoughts, whether they’re just little musings about every day life or in depth ideas about porn or sexuality.  One thing that I think I can never get enough of is sharing my personal experiences and accounts of giving blowjobs, almost in real time.  Red Thoughts is an attempt at just that, in video form.

Somehow this feels like somewhat of a lens to view my sexuality from the inside.  I can’t describe exactly how or why…  I just know that I feel like something about this video understood the way Mike and I play together, and that ends up displaying a lot of what is going on behind the scenes and in my brain, so to speak.  Our interplay is always at the core of what’s going on with my mind.  It’s the best way to anticipate his needs and get really aroused by what’s going on.  It’s not that I’m over-thinking anything, just being aware of my thoughts and how they impact just how amazing it all can be.  It’s just another way to be sensual and almost overwhelmed by the passion and connection.

Hopefully you get the same sense I do from this video.  Not that it isn’t very important that it’s all about Mike too, but something about this video just feels like an elegant capture of what’s going on in my fascinating little world while I’m giving a blowjob.  The trailer should give you an idea of what I’m talking about, but the full video will hopefully immerse you into my blowjob psyche.  Then you can finally fully comprehend what’s going on under all of this hair!

I do get a certain amount of e-mails and social media comments/messages asking how to be in porn…  Sometimes they’re just trying to get a blowjob, but they’re often being sincere.  ;)  But, the truth is that we built our beautiful porn world all by ourselves from the ground up.  Our company is just the result of hard work, not connections to companies/producers to help get the job done.  That’s not really how it works outside of a few parts of the world and a few segments of the industry…  So outside of telling people to learn how to shoot, edit, code, share their thoughts and their body…  Well, I don’t have a ton of practical options.

Now I do have a good couple of resources when potential pornstars come to call in the form of great advice from Stoya and Ms. Naughty, predominantly for women and men respectively.  It’s really great to see performers and directors alike putting out a realistic depiction of what it is to make porn, what is expected of you, what personality traits are required and what the job really entails.  So many people think it’s all flowers and rainbows and cumshots, but it’s much more than that, especially when you’re talking about mainstream porn.  That’s one of the best things about making our own beautiful porn…  Natural light is much less hot than big studio lights!  And it requires a lot less makeup, too!

Have any of you ever thought about making your own porn or venturing out into the industry to strike out and become a pornstar?  Whether or not you’re interested, these articles definitely paint a much more realistic portrayal of the industry, especially compared to what many people believe it to be.

You can’t imagine how great I think this is…  I got a message from the owner of Just Another Ikea Catalog featuring a link to my very own GIF featuring the patented Ikea catalog font and description.  We’ve been immortalized on one of the wittiest Tumblrs I’ve come across in recent history!

You can check out the full post here and hopefully follow them and check out all the upcoming pornographic Ikea spottings!  As I told him, there’s much more where that came from, so hopefully there’ll be more GIFs of our Ikea porn love in the future.  What’s better than a blowjob accented by classy and affordable decor, after all?

Maybe best of all, he linked to us and clearly indicated where the GIF was from.  Very kind of him.  So many people forget to credit, and it’s definitely a big deal to those of us who make our own content and want it to be shared…  Just without hiding the original source!

Hopefully this amuses you as much as it did me!

I got a really interesting question the other day from someone who reached out to me via e-mail, and I figured I would pose it to all of you so we can start a nice little discussion…  What did you think when you first saw genitals other than your own?  This can mean just about anything.  Maybe a partner, maybe a friend, maybe in porn…  Maybe in a sexual way, or maybe in a non-sexual way.

I think there is something so fascinating about the human body.  I remember always feeling a great deal of curiosity, mixed with a kind of shyness that is hard to shake at first.  But it makes you wonder about your own body and also about this other body, which feels beautiful and strange and familiar all at once.

How about you?  What have your experiences been like in seeing other bodies up close and personal or on film?  I’m sure our collective stories will create a really fascinating look at the way we come to understand ourselves and each other in this beautifully basic and human way.  So, here we go!

I love being a redhead.  Sure, some people have gingerphobia, but just as many people love redheads…  In my experience, many more!  We’re seen as rare and precious, and I can’t say no to feeling like that!  There’s a list of negatives about being a redhead over on Thought Catalog, which I don’t think is especially true to life.  Most of them are about being pale, really…  And it may be too bad that we burn easily, but that’s what sunscreen is for, right?  I think of it as a way to be proactive about keeping my skin healthy and beautiful!

She also mentions how hard it is to wear certain colours as a redhead, but I think that’s just flat out wrong!  I can look pretty in anything I put my mind to.  This article has a whole bunch of great ideas for how to pull off lots of different colours, including the “dreaded” red on red.  I love wearing red…  Who cares if a few people think it clashes with my hair!  I think it looks elegant.

What do you think?  Would you like to be a redhead, or do you worry about burning to a crisp or pulling off cherry red ensembles?

Penises are pretty marvellous things.  I mean, so is the human body in general, but I have my biases.  But they have such variance in their degree of erection/hardness from day to day.  My blowjobs keep Mike very happy and always quite erect, but there are specific moments sometimes where he is just so hard that it defies all logic.  I love that.

This video is a classic example of one of those moments.  In fact, this may be the hardest I have ever felt him in the nearly two decades we’ve been together.  (It feels wild to even type that.  Time flies when you’re having fun!)  He just felt like a rock.  No, harder.  What’s harder than a rock?  But really, it was especially sexy and sensual to know that he was so undeniably turned on.  We were groping and grasping for each other like a couple of teenagers in the back of a movie theatre.  It was a definite moment of passion and connection…  And it ended up with a gorgeous cumshot all over my breasts.  What on earth could possibly be better?

Have you experienced this vascular miracle?  It’s quite a sight to behold and a pleasure to hold.  The trailer shows a little bit of the excitement and enthusiasm channeled through this extra hardness, but the full video shows the fruition of this turgid time.  I hope you have as much fun with it as we did and that you wind up as hard (or wet) as he was!

There’s a Jezebel article from a little while back which comments on just how frequently men’s magazines (in this case, Esquire) ponder what makes a real man…  As if there’s some kind of sensitive lumberjack fusion character to whom all men should aspire.  Ideas of strength, virility and the ability to provide are all brought up, and they have also all been issues that we’ve discussed amongst ourselves here before in the comments section…  It’s no wonder that men feel disillusioned with their lives.  The idea of a “real man” is a lot to live up to.

So, what is a real man?  I imagine kindness and the ability to be open to the best of his ability.  It’s not about size or wealth or whatever masculine trait people expect from themselves and each other…  It’s certainly not something that can be quantified or qualified by a magazine.

How about you?  Do you think that the idea of a “real man” is at all valuable?  And if so, what do you think a real man is?