Here’s a silly song for a Tuesday afternoon.  It’s cute, extremely cheesy and about a vibrator.  Who among us hasn’t felt the glowing anticipation of enjoying something sexy for the first time?  Maybe not necessarily a vibrator, but perhaps getting excited about going home to watch a new video, try out a new position or even explore a totally new side to your sexual self.

Maybe you don’t quite feel overwhelmed enough to sing like Michelle here does, but I know that there’s nothing quite as lovely as letting your enthusiasm bubble over the moments before you expand your sexual horizons and allow yourself to be pleasured in a whole new way.

What makes you feel this way?  What do you do to get this feeling of excitement and novelty in your life from time to time?  I hope you all get to experience it soon.  For me, I love bringing home lingerie or sometimes even a new toy.  It’s so nice to feel the thrill of something like this.

I’m lucky.  Mike makes me feel really beautiful all the time.  He gives lovely compliments and treats me like a queen.  I have to say, I’m doing very well in that department between my love and all the lovely people who come to support what we do online.  But still, it’s lovely to hear that I have A Perfect Body, (and that I give) A Perfect Blowjob.

This video has a little more than the standard blowjob… (Although, is there any such thing as a standard blowjob around here?)  Mike spends a great deal of time exploring my body with his hands, culminating in him fingering me and making me feel amazing.  It’s nice to experience that kind of mutual pleasure in a video.  It’s something we enjoy a tremendous amount off-camera, as well as many other things, but I often like to really focus on blowjobs in videos.  Sometimes it’s good to switch things and let people see a different side of me, though.

Did you like this extra glimpse?  I like showing my pleasure from time to time if for no other reason than because it avoids more e-mails asking if I ever get any kind of sexual stimulation, on camera or off.  (The answer, clearly, is YES.)  You can check a little bit out in the trailer, but the perfection is really captured in the full video.

I always love hearing about people’s porn viewing habits, and I especially find it really charming to hear about how people experience porn as a couple, so I really smiled when I read this article on xoJane (and the commentary) about the logistics of watching porn together…  It’s a nice idea, but there are some considerations to be made, as the author points out.

There’s something charming about the idea of being honest with your partner about the kinds of porn you want to watch together, because you really learn more about each other and your desires.  It opens up conversations and the possibility for trying something new.  Then, of course, there’s also the issues with how you watch your porn (and, more importantly, the importance of not knocking any laptops/iPads off the bed in the process) which is always something to consider.  But probably most important of all is how you watch the porn as a couple.  Do you focus on the porn?  Do you not touch at all at first to build anticipation?  Do you play with yourself?  Or with each other?  Are you going to end up entirely ignoring the porn to have lots of hot sex?

There are no wrong answers, but so many great things to negotiate.  You get to see another side of your partner when you watch porn together…  Just watching your partner watch and get engrossed is pretty erotic.  But don’t stare too intently at them, as it tends to make just about anyone a little self-conscious.

I hope you all get the chance to experiment with these different dynamics.  And if The Art of Blowjob or Slow Motion Blowjob ends up making the cut for your mutual viewing pleasure…  So much the better.  ;)

Someone came to me with a question today, specifically wondering if circumcised penises should be moisturized.  I had never really thought about this, but it is skin like any other, and it can be a little more prone to drying out without a foreskin, I suppose.  So, I went to Google to see what the internet had for me.

Turns out there actually is a specific penis moisturizer.  The website includes a stock photo of a penis-shaped cactus.  You can’t make this stuff up.  There is clearly a market for this.  I don’t think you necessarily need this particular product…  Any absorbing moisturizer without harsh chemicals should be fine.  You could even do a more thorough penis treatment every so often…  Maybe something with oils.  Though, you’d probably just end up getting turned on, having an orgasm, making a mess and having to wipe it all off.  That’s just a guess.  :P

That said, there are a few things you should be careful about.  For one, moisturizer doesn’t taste great, so maybe wait a bit before getting a blowjob or opt for an unscented lotion.  Another reason to wait a while before any kind of sex is that there’s a chance of irritation if you’re having vaginal sex without a condom.  AND, if you are using a condom, the moisturizer may impact the integrity of the condom material or make it easier to slip off.  Basically, if you’re going to moisturize, I’d suggest doing so well before anything sexy happens with someone else.

It seems like the general wisdom about keeping your penis soft outside of moisturizing is avoiding drying soaps, using lube, drinking enough water…  But if you need a little extra help, there’s definitely no harm in pumping out some Jergens.  ;)

How about you?  Have you ever experienced a dry penis?  And if you were to use lotion…  Would it invariably end up as masturbation?  ;)

Did you know that May is masturbation month?  Well, if you didn’t, now you do. As someone who works in porn, obviously I’m very pro-masturbation, but it’s interesting to hear about people who have mixed feelings about their own masturbation habits.  A lot of people have some degree of shame around the issue, and I hope that they’ll be able to find a way to enjoy themselves on their own terms.

I think that there are differences in the kinds of shames we feel as men and women to a certain extent, but it all comes down to the concern that we’re going to be seen as perverts for enjoying our bodies…  Like there’s something gross about doing so.  For men, I think it’s somewhat linked to feeling less than for having sex alone instead of with a partner.  The term “wanker” in the UK has given wanking quite a bad wrap for men.  As for women, it’s seen as something that good girls just don’t do…  Women’s sexuality and pleasure is just so misunderstood that way.

The only way we can really combat this is by enjoying ourselves and trying to be unashamed.  It’s hard to get over this kind of stigma, but loving yourself, getting to know your body and experiencing pleasure are all such important aspects of your sexual self and life.  What do you think?  Have you ever been made to feel ashamed about masturbating?  Is it something that you enjoy?  Do you ever speak openly about it with people in your life?

Sweetly Stroking by Soft Light

Kind of piggy-backing off of last week’s idea of reimagining the blowjob as a kiss, this week’s video on The Art of Blowjob is all about enjoying the beauty of a nice handjob.  It’s called Sweetly Stroking by Soft Light and it’s an ode to the simplicity that can happen with a little creativity and a limber wrist.

One thing that became almost instantly apparent was how often I want to revert back to giving a blowjob.  That’s not a bad thing of course…  It’s a great thing!  Who wouldn’t be thrilled to know that their significant other loves giving them a blowjob so much that it’s almost impossible to resist.  But, it was a fun exercise in trying to find and strike a balance between the stroking and sucking so that it would still largely be about how beautiful and sexy a handjob can be.

Sometimes people think of handjobs as a bit too much like solo masturbation, but I think the idea of literally putting the control of your orgasm into someone else’s hands to be quite erotic, don’t you?  You can get a little feel (ha!) in the trailer, and experience how hot a handjob can be to the fullest in the full video.  I’d love to know if this little experiment brought extra affinity to the simple handjob.

Today brings another Q+A question from one of our more verbose (and rightfully so — don’t change a thing!) commenters:

One of the oldest complaints against porn is that it teaches, encourages, or even forces the viewer to objectify the actors: people end up watching tits and asses, cocks and cunts, rather than individual human beings having sex with other individual human beings. And then that objectification turns into guilt, and insensitivity, and violence, et cetera, et cetera.

Obviously, your work fights against objectification in every way: you emphasize your individuality, and your strict relationship with Mike, and the importance of personhood and respect in porn. And this blog is one of your champion elements in letting us see and know you as an individual, not just a gorgeous body and a talented mouth.

And yet, at the end of the day, a lot of people are still jacking off to your sensual beauty. How do you feel about the idea of people becoming objects in porn– even beautiful porn– and is it a bad thing, a good thing, or simply a neutral fact of life?

I think it’s a neutral fact of life, and I think that when it comes to the actual act of watching porn and masturbating, we can’t help but often get that kind of tunnel vision where we’re really focused on the immediate sexuality in front of us.  Even in passionate lovemaking, there’s a shift when you’re close to orgasm where it’s more about enjoying the stimulation than thinking about what a good person your partner is, even if that’s somewhere on your mind throughout most of the experience.

What I actually try to do is show that, while I am a mouth and breasts and nice hair and all that, I’m a person as well.  The two don’t need to be mutually exclusive.  There are times when I can be entertaining with thoughts on sexuality, Scotch recommendations and geeky moments and there are also times where I can be entertaining as a sexual woman, either as a whole or as parts to be focused upon for part of the pleasure.

So, I don’t want to be exclusively objectified.  I don’t want people to think that I don’t have value outside of what I look like or what I do on camera, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with reverting to a very basic way of viewing me in the heat of the moment.  We can’t be guilting people for their natural mindset when they’re doing something so primal.

How about you guys?  What do you think when you’re watching porn?  Do you end up focusing on parts of the person, or are you always somewhat aware of the sum of those parts?

What does that machine say?  Oh, the DildoMaker.  That sounds like a perfectly normal household appliance, right?  Nothing strange about that, what so ever…  Well, maybe a little, but it’s an interesting idea.  If you want a cheap dildo or you’re too lazy to leave the kitchen (it looks like it would go in the kitchen, maybe next to the mixer) to get yours from the bedside table, this handy tool will take that carrot, zucchini, sausage, stick, candle…  Basically whatever phallic item you have lying around…  and give it a head ribbed for your pleasure.

They are actually fairly interesting pieces of at in a way, and I’m sure that, as long as they were sanitized and very well-sanded, they could potentially do the trick, but I’d advise using a condom over them anyways.  ;)

The main word of caution is that you should not, under any circumstances, try to see if it would feel good on your penis.  This is not a toy for men…  It’s a giant pencil sharpener.  This is not the type of mistake you can easily shrug off!

Thanks for Violet Blue for sharing this bizarre piece of equipment.  Would you ever use a DildoMaker, or perhaps an equivalent machine that would tunnel holes through melons and, I don’t know…  Soft loaves of bread?  Or do you prefer to keep your foods and inanimate objects anatomically incorrect?  :P

Just as I try to comfort people who can’t make their partners come/or come themselves from blowjobs, there’s no reason to fear assistance.  Everybody needs different stimulation to have an orgasm.  Sure, people say you can try to vary your techniques to become less dependent on a particular way you’ve gotten used to, but not everyone can or even wants to, and that’s okay.

I think it’s really important to be excited about pleasing your partner and making them feel as good as you possibly can by being creative and enthusiastic, but that doesn’t mean competition with other, more direct stimulation.  Besides…  If you can hold the vibrator, you’re part of the process!

What do you think?  Do you ever feel the need to be better than a vibrator/her hands?  I understand that those kinds of feelings are really natural, but I don’t think that sensational article titles address the issue.  And, for what it’s worth, their fifth point was actually the best…  Just leave her alone.  Seeing a woman have an orgasm is sexy, right?  Feeling good is what we’re all after.  :)

A while back, I found this really great piece about why women watch porn on Orgasm.  What struck me is the fact that, a few things aside, I wouldn’t say there’s much difference between why women and men watch porn.  We’re all curious, we all want to be aroused and entertained and we’d like to learn a thing or two if possible.

One difference I saw was the idea of a woman finding her partner’s stash and coming to porn that way.  Has this ever happened to you, either as the person finding the porn or the person whose porn is found?  Is this an embarrassing idea, or would you use this as a golden opportunity to find out what makes each other tick and how to explore it further?

I would actually say (especially based on some of the feedback I’ve had here over the years) that a lot of guys watch porn for the penis too, whether it’s to compare, to put themselves in his position or simply for a very natural arousal.  I think that’s incredibly sexy.

So, what do you think?  Are there more differences or similarities when it comes to why women and men watch porn?  And really, why do you watch porn?  Anything that didn’t make the list?