As you know from reading this blog, I do think a lot.  I love having this space to share my thoughts, whether they’re just little musings about every day life or in depth ideas about porn or sexuality.  One thing that I think I can never get enough of is sharing my personal experiences and accounts of giving blowjobs, almost in real time.  Red Thoughts is an attempt at just that, in video form.

Somehow this feels like somewhat of a lens to view my sexuality from the inside.  I can’t describe exactly how or why…  I just know that I feel like something about this video understood the way Mike and I play together, and that ends up displaying a lot of what is going on behind the scenes and in my brain, so to speak.  Our interplay is always at the core of what’s going on with my mind.  It’s the best way to anticipate his needs and get really aroused by what’s going on.  It’s not that I’m over-thinking anything, just being aware of my thoughts and how they impact just how amazing it all can be.  It’s just another way to be sensual and almost overwhelmed by the passion and connection.

Hopefully you get the same sense I do from this video.  Not that it isn’t very important that it’s all about Mike too, but something about this video just feels like an elegant capture of what’s going on in my fascinating little world while I’m giving a blowjob.  The trailer should give you an idea of what I’m talking about, but the full video will hopefully immerse you into my blowjob psyche.  Then you can finally fully comprehend what’s going on under all of this hair!

Penises are pretty marvellous things.  I mean, so is the human body in general, but I have my biases.  But they have such variance in their degree of erection/hardness from day to day.  My blowjobs keep Mike very happy and always quite erect, but there are specific moments sometimes where he is just so hard that it defies all logic.  I love that.

This video is a classic example of one of those moments.  In fact, this may be the hardest I have ever felt him in the nearly two decades we’ve been together.  (It feels wild to even type that.  Time flies when you’re having fun!)  He just felt like a rock.  No, harder.  What’s harder than a rock?  But really, it was especially sexy and sensual to know that he was so undeniably turned on.  We were groping and grasping for each other like a couple of teenagers in the back of a movie theatre.  It was a definite moment of passion and connection…  And it ended up with a gorgeous cumshot all over my breasts.  What on earth could possibly be better?

Have you experienced this vascular miracle?  It’s quite a sight to behold and a pleasure to hold.  The trailer shows a little bit of the excitement and enthusiasm channeled through this extra hardness, but the full video shows the fruition of this turgid time.  I hope you have as much fun with it as we did and that you wind up as hard (or wet) as he was!

Fresh on the tails of Michael Douglas’ announcement that his throat cancer may have been linked to HPV (caused by enthusiastic and frequent cunnilingus — good for him?) people have been discussing not only the health issues surrounding oral sex, but also how we feel about it, specifically with regards to the man on woman dynamic.  A lot of people are talking about how great it is that we’re more accepting of the eroticism of a man giving pleasure to a woman in what we see as a selfless (non-penis-driven) way, but is that paving the way for a culture of men who one-up each other with locker room tales of tongue dexterity?  And is that necessarily a bad thing?

The bulk of this Salon article is about how amazing it is that men value giving pleasure as well as receiving it (with the important caveat that STI testing, vaccinations and safer sex practices are always important when you don’t know your/your partner’s status) but Fleshbot‘s own Lux Alptraum chimes in with the very interesting point at the end to switch everything around:

“The pairing of oral skill with manliness makes cunnilingus less about the woman receiving it than about the man performing it” and “the woman’s pleasure more about validating the man’s skill than about the woman herself having a good time.”

This is an interesting concept to me.  In a sense, I like the idea that pleasure is pleasure no matter where it comes from, but I think it’s also very important that people develop a nuanced way of identifying what their partners want.  Not all women want the same sensation, the same as with men.  If there’s ego and machismo attached to giving oral sex, it makes it less likely for people to be open and amenable to instruction and feedback.  More over, some people just don’t like (or don’t come from) oral sex.  If the giver is so wrapped up in their identity as an oral sex god that they can’t appreciate that the recipient may not want what they’re offering, it’s not a recipe for great communication…  And certainly not for great sex.

I’m wondering, as a fellatio enthusiast, is this the same way men feel about women who tout their blowjob expertise?  Do they come off as too brash and beyond criticism?  Would that be an erotic kind of cockiness that would sustain, or would it wear off quickly as potential disparities in her technique/your desires came to light?

In the best case scenario, people would all appreciate the value of giving pleasure and find arousal in that without falling victim to ego trips and while maintaining a degree of flexibility to try things outside of their patented techniques…  But, I wanted to know…  What do you think?

Everything is a little give and take, and this certainly includes blowjobs.  I love the way the dynamics constantly shift and evolve between Mike and I.  It’s not really a control issue…  It’s more that we take turns being passive and active.  You can give a blowjob, you can get a blowjob, but you can also be receptive to a penis or giving with a penis.  It’s so interesting how there are so many options.

Sometimes we work together, both active, meeting in the centre over and over.  It’s a quick connection, established and returned to continuously as we get closer and closer to that beautiful moment of orgasm.  Sometimes I take the lead, kneeling upwards to bring him to the edge.  Other times, he thrusts into my mouth, holding my head gently and keeping perfect balance.  What could be better than this beautiful exchange and back and forth?  The best sex is always the kind where everyone is involved, we take turns and then we work together.

I hope this rings true to you, and I hope that you all have this kind of experience with someone who is as invested and interested as you are in the experience as well as the end result.  You can get a sense of it in the trailer, but the action fully unfurls in the full video.  Let me know what you think of this idea of give and take.  I’d love to get a big talk going about it.

Everyone knows that I’m a big proponent of blowjobs, and I encourage everyone to enjoy them as much as they possibly can but…  There’s a time and a place for everything, and I’m pretty sure that’s not in a doctor’s office right after a patient has expressed concern about a medical procedure.  I’m not Dr. Crimson, but I’m pretty sure that it’s not great bedside manner to suggest that a patient give two blowjobs a week to relax her gag reflex before receiving a scope down her throat.  But apparently this one doctor disagreed.

The worst part is that he’s a colon and rectal surgeon, as you can see on his door in the video…  I shudder to think what he’d suggest to someone preparing for a different kind of scope…  I mean, it’s kind of funny as a fake story, but is pretty bad that it’s real.  Blowjobs are wonderful, but only when discussed appropriately!  Besides, the jury is still out on just how much you can train your gag reflex, and starting out with blowjobs isn’t the best strategy anyways!

I rolled my eyes and I hope you did too…  This is definitely one for the books.

I have a new update!  But first, here are two things I’d like to get out of the way right now:

Yes, I love facials.  I realize that not everyone in the world (even people who love cumshots in general, and even people who frequent this blog) will love facials, but I do and I want to continue to make that clear.  I will say it loud and proud and proclaim it in this video.  See?  It’s a video made explicitly to share my love of facials.  I lick it all up, too.  No point in anything going to waste, you know.  ;)

The other thing is that Mike holds up my hair and sometimes holds my head in this video.  Sometimes people seem put off by this, saying it seems like traditional porn or something like that…  I don’t know what to tell you.  It’s something we like, it’s a different way of enjoying a blowjob and it gives us more dynamics to play around with.  It feels good to me and it feels good to him too!  Besides…  My hair is long and pretty voluminous, too.  It’s nice to have it out of the way.  :)

So I do really sincerely hope that you all enjoy I Just Love Facials, because of OR in spite of my two quick points.  It also features Mike masturbating me and it’s a beautiful simple nude video shot with a lot of love AND natural light.  The trailer is a tease (in a good way!) but the full video is a whole face full of excitement…  And cum.

Are these “essentials” really at all essential?  I realize that I’m speaking from a particular viewpoint here, but when I saw this video, I was kind of surprised by everything she’s rattling off here without fundamentally explaining that these are very much frills as opposed to integral parts of a great blowjob.

Granted, she’s clearly marketing these products as part of her business, but this kind of advice has always rubbed me the wrong way because it makes it seem like bells and whistles are the most important part of a sexual encounter.  People who are looking up this kind of video on Youtube are generally seeking advice because they aren’t as confident as they’d like to be, so they’re not going to be in the best position to be skeptical when someone is trying to sell them something.

I’ve had fun with trying different things over the years, including a cock ring (not vibrating with weird little dangly parts) and a warm sip of tea or coffee or a cool glass of water is nice to try every so often, but the main thing that is amazing about a blowjob is the passion, connection and sensuality.  It’s not about tricks and how many things you can use to distract attention away from your mouth… It can be enjoyed just in its similicity.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try new things and be adventurous, but you don’t need re-branded Pop Rocks or Altoids to do it.

What do you think?  Do any of these tips sound good?  Do you think that this video might give the impression that you need most/all of these things (maybe even at once) to be a real blowjob expert?  See?  This is why I try not to give very specific advice…  Just be creative, know yourself and try to get to know your partner too.

Reddit is great for a lot of things, but sometimes I have to say that their advice, though well-intentioned, is…  Let’s just say interesting.  Recently there was a thread where someone was asking what the boyfriends of Reddit would like as a random surprise.  They actually came up with a number of options ranging from sweet to…  Again, interesting.

Some of the ideas are nice and simple…  Giving little hugs from behind, little surprise gifts, massages.  That all sounds pretty normal.  Then, washing him, which is a little more out there, but not exceptionally strange.  It turns out a lot of men want food, which is fine, although one guy was extremely particular:

Tacos. Like, I want to have a Saturday where we’re driving to the mall or something, and suddenly she pulls out a whole tray of tacos from under the seat and is all like ‘SUPRISE! TACOS’ and then we would eat tacos.

Ladies: say it with tacos.  But, there was one thing the original poster reminded everyone up front: “Please no one say BJ, i know thats at the top of everyones list.”  And what ended up happening?  Well, they spoke about blowjobs anyways.  Extensively.  So, if you don’t have a place to store tacos in your car, you can always show you care with a blowjob, even though we already know it’s the first thing the very large majority of men would like as a surprise.  ;)

I am pretty excited, because I can finally share the news that I have a piece published on the Playboy website!  That’s right!  I shared my top 5 tips for making yourself irresistible for blowjobs!  I figured that it was more likely a predominantly male audience and that most men like, nay, love blowjobs, so it would be a pretty perfect topic to share as my introduction to Playboy!

This feels like a really huge deal.  I know it’s not all about getting big mainstream acceptance, but it definitely is an important aspect of spreading the message of beautiful porn.  I’m really hoping this will be a stepping stone towards getting into the magazine.  It’s an iconic company and they have a really wide audience of people who like a little titillation along with information…  That sounds right up my alley, doesn’t it?

I hope you’ll all take a moment to read the article, comment on it and share it around.  If enough people respond favourably, hopefully they’ll be excited about featuring me in other ways…  There’s always the dream of being a centrefold.  Who knows?  It could become a reality some day!  Please let me know what you think about all this.  Your encouragement (and input) means so much to me.

I really love this video, and I think it’s in part because you’ll probably see another striking resemblance to Those Eyes, hence the name That Look in Those Eyes.  When Mike holds my hair up while I’m giving him a blowjob, you can really see the intensity between the two of us as this kind of sweet, always new way we play with each other.  It’s a beautiful feeling to always be playful, never quite knowing what’s coming back.  It’s the element of surprise, but in a safe and loving way.

Also, I know that you guys love the white lingerie.  It’s such a sexy look and feel for me, so I was happy to bring it out for this sunny, simple shoot in the music room.  I love being close to my instruments…  It’s nice to sit around in the afterglow and play a little something before getting on in our day.  For me, it’s nice to continue my art in a new way, and for Mike it’s nice to listen to something soft and sweet as he comes down from the intensity of his orgasm.  After a blowjob like that, it was quite a serious one!

I’d love to know what you thought of this video, if you see what I see and what your favourite moments were.  It’s always wonderful to get feedback so we can continue to make sweet, sexy blowjob videos just like you want…  We’re not going to do anything other that what feels right to us, but your words are like little breezes gently pushing us to explore and share different sides of ourselves.  So, watch the trailer to get a sense of it or see the full video and leave your comments…  I’d love to hear from you!