Camille Crimson

This is a slightly older video (well, two months old) that I’ve had on the backburner for a while, and I figured I’d discuss it today because I’m just in that kind of mood…  It’s a video that Sasha Grey did for Equal Pay day, which is, on the surface, a very good idea.  It’s based on the idea that women often make significantly less than men doing the same work.  People have different rationalizations for why this is the case, but the fact of the matter is that this continues to be an issue, both in North America and throughout the world.  In a way, it’s a very good thing that Sasha lent her voice to this issue, but watch the full video and I think you’ll get quite a different picture by the end.  No, go ahead.  I can wait.  ;)

Done?  What did you think about the message at the end?  It seemed to pretty much devalue everything that Sasha has done with her porn career, doesn’t it?  ”Porn is about the only way to make more than a man. Find a better alternative on equalpayday.be.”  Wow.  Now, I realize that there’s more than one way to read this statement, and they may in fact have been referring to the fact that there is a better general alternative to the current pay scale issues, but come on.  They are clearly thriving on this ambiguous statement, especially considering the stark tone of the film and her voice, and her own decision to leave the porn industry.

Say what you will about Sasha’s career, but she seems to have done everything in her own way with her own interests in mind.  She even indicates this in the video…  So why the need to create some sort of pornographic martyr character in the name of sparking discussion?  Well, I guess because it sparks discussion…  In the name of discussion, what do you think about this issue in general, and what do you think about the fact that it’s framed around the (perceived negative) porn industry?

Today is International Women’s Day, and I wanted to make a blog just to thank you all for being great allies to a very sexually open woman such as myself.  In light of the incredibly awful things being said about women’s sexuality in the media, especially surrounding reproductive rights, it means so much to have forward-thinking people who support women’s autonomy and choices.

However, International Women’s Day goes far beyond what we experience here, because there are places in the world where women’s issues go so far beyond the struggles we’re facing with regards to our sexuality.  We still have a long way to go, but I encourage everyone to look at charitable giving both close to home to shelters, educational programs and other support services and to international aid organizations dealing with women’s issues ranging from literacy, sex worker advocacy, women’s health initiatives, worker’s rights…

There are so many aspects in need of support, but don’t forget the impact that you can give by thanking an inspirational woman in your life.

This video is amazing, so thanks to Megan Andelloux, Sarah Champagne, and Alicia Gauvin from the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health!  First, let me say that this video is full of a sexy retro feminist look, which I love.  I should be cuddled up on the couch with them, wearing my red bandana à la Rosie the Riveter and drinking tea.  They look like they’re having so much fun talking about porn.  We should be best friends!

What they start talking about is really interesting.  Do you feel like the porn you enjoy mirrors who you are?  Would you shelf (or folder) of porn be shocking, or do you think it’s representative of you?  Would you feel weird if non-judgmental people knew what kind of stuff you enjoy?

The idea of  people who are “actually allowed to come the way the want with whom they want” is bang on.  Whether it’s queer, or straight like what we do, that is the magic ingredient.  We do need to share these “delicious moments” of sex positivity.  In fact, I need to edit my tour to emphasize our sex positivity!  Thanks, Youtube video!

Also, what they say about paying for porn is very very valid!  Whether it’s porn that pays out their performers or helping small companies pay the bills, it is a great way to encourage sex positive porn and increase the propensity of awesome porn.  Then they talk about great companies (sadly they don’t mention me, but next time?) and they talk about how these companies make you feel that it’s great to watch porn because the people in the videos are genuinely enjoying it!  They even address the fact that sex positive porn shows a wide array of sexuality, so you’re less likely to feel weird if you don’t jive to one kind of sex or sensation.  Yay!

Smart people talking about porn?  I love it.  Did this video make you happy?

I’m sure some of you have been reading the shocking (or not so shocking) statistics about rape and sexual violence in the US.  They’ve been making the rounds on the internet, and after Cal e-mailed me just to see if I had seen the reports, I figured that it was worthy of a blog post, even though it’s not the typical cheery/sexy thing I would post here.  It’s an important issue that needs to be discussed.

It’s unfortunately true that 1/5 women in the United States experiences rape or attempted rape and 1/4 women have been attacked in relationships.  (This specific bit of information was released about the US, and it’s hard to find Canadian statistics, but I’d imagine that it’s a similar situation here.)  This is a really awful statistic, but these numbers even sound a bit low to those in the know.  The fact is, a lot of people are pretty oblivious to these numbers, and that’s a big reason why sexual violence continues to be an issue.  But, it takes more than just awareness to reverse this disturbing trend.

First, I think it’s important not to try to divert from the issue.  Even though it’s the minority, you read a lot of comments raising points about men’s rights, male sexual violence survivors, false accusations, alcohol consumption or the fact that someone may not have met anyone who has experienced sexual violence.  The fact is that men’s rights, while important, don’t negate what is happening in terms of sexual violence.  As for male sexual violence survivors, it’s a problem that affects men and women and I think it’s really important that this is more emphasized.  But the fact is that it’s 1/4 for women vs. approximately 1/75 for men, so it’s somewhat understandable that a lot of resources are more focused on women.  Men and women both get breast cancer too, but no one balks about the fact that most of the research is designated towards women.

False accusations represent about 2% of the reports, and there are countless other unreported experiences of sexual violence, which only shrinks the false accusation percentage.  A lot of talk in comments on blogs is about how having sex with a woman so drunk she can’t say no isn’t really a crime, just a grey area.  The law disagrees, and the experience of these women disagrees too.  Finally, most survivors of sexual violence won’t talk to just anyone about their experience, and may not even discuss it with anyone outside a therapist or one or two close friends/family members.  Just because you haven’t been approached with a specific story doesn’t mean that someone in your life hasn’t had this horrible experience.

What else can you do to help stop the violence?  Making yourself and the people around you accountable for their actions.  If someone makes light of sexual violence, tell them it’s not okay.  If someone you know is trying to have sex with a woman who obviously can’t say no, intervene.  Maybe even discuss consent as a normal part of sex.  Anything where you are actively setting a good example is very valuable.

Lastly, actually get involved with volunteering for the cause.  Volunteer at a shelter, raise money for a charitable organization, get involved with your local chapter of the White Ribbon Campaign.  Whatever you can do to get involved will make a huge impact on yourself and those around you.

I know you’re all amazing, smart, kind people, so I hope this post resonates with you.

The blog has still been a by whacked out, so thanks for putting up with the disappearing/reappearing comments and posts.  Who knows?  Hopefully it’ll decide to behave from now on!

Today, I thought I’d put together a couple of funny little things I saw around the internet into one post.  The first one speaks all about my love of macs:

It’s unbelievable how true it is!  I don’t mean to sound brainwashed, but I’ll buy pretty much anything they give me the option to!  Moving right along, here are the life lessons that mainstream porn (not to be confused with beautiful porn) has taught the world about sex:

Good to know about #9.  And last, but not least, I think this is how many of us feel when we browse through porn aggregate sites.  That’s why it’s good to have a solid place to find high quality porn.  (Ahem!  Ahem!)  I think you all know what I’m referring to…

Hope you enjoyed this little laugh to get you into the weekend feeling!

I know, this is probably not the picture you were expecting, but to me…  Wow!  Here’s my crush object Patrick Stewart voicing his support of Amnesty International endeavours to end violence against women.  That’s pretty sexy right there.  On top of his geek fred, his intelligence, his talent and his rugged good looks, he’s a compassionate person who understands the value of looking beyond his life at people and causes in need of help.

Sure, he may have just been accosted with a sign and a camera on his way about town (as evidenced by his shopping bag…  couldn’t someone have held it for him for a few seconds?) but he still took the time out to be an advocate for women’s rights.  There are few things sexier than a man who respects women as his equals and wants to help out.

Besides, look at that serious expression and that motorcycle jacket…  Swoon!