Category Archives: Opinion

Think Blowjob!

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When it comes to blowjobs only a few things matter:  emotions, feelings and passion. Leave logical and practical behind. Most importantly, stay out of your head. Overthinking kills the mood because you are not enjoying the present moment. Also it breaks your focus on his cock. Remember, penis is everything and don’t leave the balls behind. Being looked down upon is not to be feared. You put yourself in this position to have more control. If you are in the blowjob learning process, don’t be too serious about it. Keep it lite, have fun and be a little foolish. Don’t worry about your performance or even being perfect. Play games with his mind. Act more innocent than you really are, and at the same time be naughty and dirty. You want him to perceive you as a princess and a pornstar. Just find that magic balance.  Penis is your new mantra!

It is Piper’s too at TheArtofBlowjob!

Position Yourself For a Blowjob!

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We all know the best way to have a man’s full attention is during sex. Even more so while the blowjob is taking place. Blowjobs are a great turn on for men as they make them feel dominant, but don’t forget, you are the one with total control, both over yourself and as well as the situation. You can always make him ask for more!
Men are visual. Make sure he has the best possible view. Place yourself in a flattering position, preferably in which you are more submissive. For example: on your knees, on all fours, lying on the bed. If you run out of ideas use a mirror. Place it to his advantage. He likes to feel dominant, so put yourself lower than he his. Don’t forget to be comfortable, your performance depends on how much you are able to focus on his cock. Everyday positions could be adapted to BJ’s!

Enjoy it!

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In the latest update, Piper demonstrate the attitude you need to have during a blowjob. Here is how she does it: “The secret to giving the best blowjob ever is- the attitude. It’s everything! Do it for you. It is maybe called a Blow Job, but it’s not a job. Blowjobs are not meant to be given as a birthday gift, or in exchange for something else. Change your attitude towards them. If you view Bj’s as the source of ultimate-pleasure, they will become that for you.”

Don’t just enjoy it, need it. You crave his silky smooth engorged shaft, his warmth filling your mouth. Use expressions of happiness as tools in your performance. Little things that you men notices and finds sexy. For example: biting your lower lip. Playing with you hair. Licking your lips. Wearing lingerie. Adding lipstick. Every guy wants to find a girl that ‘blows’.

Teeth?

Sexy smile from beautiful Laura

We’re working on a few new educational series videos and we wanted to know: do you like teeth as a part of your blowjob? I don’t mean pointless scraping… I mean a little light nibble along the side of your shaft, some gentle placement on your cockhead before the sucking begins or even a little teasing like they might be used, but then they aren’t actually… You know, just to keep you on your toes.

Or, even as simple as a smile… Do you find a grin with teeth to be sexy, or a laugh that shows off the teeth? So many people say that smiling in porn is such an aphrodisiac, but is the toothy element of a smile a part of the appeal, at least when it’s genuine? I mean, I know I find a nice smile irresistible, and good teeth is certainly part of that. There’s even charm in the imperfections a lot of the time.

It’s funny. For all the thinking we do about mouths, it seems we do very little about the teeth, which are certainly a big element of what goes on behind the lips. We’ve got some thinking to do, and I hope you’ll chime in and let us know how you feel about seeing teeth on The Art of Blowjob.

Studying Porn

Sometimes I have a pipe dream of becoming a pornographic academic. I’ve been lucky enough to speak on a few panels and even present a paper at the first Feminist Porn Conference here in Toronto last April. That was definitely one of the highlights of my life, and it’s something that I’d definitely like to experience again. I don’t know exactly what form that’ll take, but it does mean that I take the concept of porn academia to heart in quite a serious way. I spoke with Dr. Chantelle Tibbals for her podcast a while back, and have had this interview that she did with Slate in my back pocket, waiting for a time that I might be moved to blog about the dire need of more research and critical thought with regards to porn… That time has come, blog. That time has come.

The problem is that, because of the general preconceived notions about porn, people have a real tough time seeing value in attributing precious academic resources to its study. This is a really negative bias, because it is an otherwise very culturally dominant medium/art form/phenomena. There’s certainly something to be said about the taboo nature of porn, but if anything, that only feeds the potential for discussion and research, and it should ideally also play a role in piquing general interest about said discussion and research. It’s film, biology, psychology, sociology… It’s obviously the study of sex and gender. It’s ripe for all types of analysis.

As with my unfaltering belief that the answer to bad porn is not no porn, but more porn, I think that more work in the field will balance out some of the more unfortunate pseudoscientific snap judgments that people make about the way porn impacts teens, relationships and the psychosexual self. Maybe this means I should dust myself off and get into writing porn academia in a more serious way. After all, that’s sort of how Dr. Chauntelle came to it. Who knows? Maybe I could be Dr. Sophie some day. There is so much room for a balanced, sex-positive critical and academic response to porn. As far as I know, while mainstream and actively queer/feminist porn is getting traction, very little at all is being written about porn from a pro-am or aesthetically artistic way. Maybe beautiful porn needs a place in academia. What do you think?

Why Do We Have Sex?

I have a confession to make: I’m not having sex right now. At all. I’m taking a break from dating while I do some Sophie-related soul searching, and this includes even the casual, easy ongoing fling I’ve had for the past… Almost year. With a boy I really liked who suited my tastes and weirdnesses to a T… But, that’s neither here nor there. It is HARD, and the fact that I write about sex and spend a tremendous amount of my day around porn has made sure that my mind is on it even more than it already would be, but do you know what? That’s okay. I’m doing the best thing I know to do for myself right now, as suggested by my very innovative and persuasive therapist. All this is temporary, and it should lead to a happier me, if a super sexually frustrated me over the next few months. It’s been a week, but a rough one.

The main reason I’m doing this is because I want to look at the reasons I’m intimate and make sure they’re actually making me happy and making my life better instead of worse. Neutral would be okay too, but definitely not worse. Well, wouldn’t you know that the university just a few blocks away from me (University of Toronto – site of the Feminist Porn Conference!) is in the process of studying why people have sex and how that rates in terms of satisfaction and well-being? They’re only doing this work with couples (for now) so I’m not likely to become a lab rat for them, but at least I can look at their findings and apply them to my life, and perhaps to yours as well!

They found that when you’re having sex for positive reasons, you’re likely to have a much better time than if you’re having sex for negative reasons. This may seem obvious, but I don’t think it’s something people put much stock in. Positive reasons like increasing intimacy and connection or feeling better about yourself are more inclined to put you in touch with your partner and yourself and revelling in your sensuality together for its own sake, whereas doing it because you feel like you should or because it will smooth over a fight… Not so much. Wifely duties shouldn’t be a thing, and that goes for any other partnerly duties, too. A slave to duty is just that… And if you’re going to be a slave, you better have a safeword!

Sex is a wonderful thing, and we should all be having more of it (though not me right now, I guess) but it’s valuable to take a step back and make sure we’re feeling good about what’s going on. There’s something to be said for giving pleasure rather than focusing only on receiving it, for rallying and for making a concerted effort to promote intimacy, but there’s work on the self that must be done to ensure that this is a positive choice rather than self-coersion. You shouldn’t ever have to talk yourself into sex. That’s very different than making time for it or making it a priority. By checking in with ourselves, we’ll be able to enjoy it infinitely more.