Category Archives: Humour

Have You Heard Of Butt Lights!

Are you one of those men who enjoy giving a good spank?

If you are, here is the perfect thing for you: a butt lamp that gets ‘Turned-On’ when you slap it!

You can also squeeze it or pinch it, depending on your mood.

You can choose between the 10 colours, by turning the dial. Don’t forget, it is a heavy butt(1.2kg) so don’t drop it on your toes.



Picture from Bored Panda


Slap It was designed by Joseph Begley. It is made entirely of silicone, easy to wash. If your hands are dirty while you turn it on or off. For those of you who have naughty ideas, it is not suggested to use sharp objects close to your butt.  


slap-it-butt-lamp-9gifGif from Bored Panda

World’s Longest Tongue

Adrienne Lewis of Michigan has an amazing tongue. It may even be the world’s longest tongue. That remains to be seen by the Guinness Book of World Records, but Brazzers has already taken note and contacted her to see if she’d perform in a scene for them. She has already made it pretty clear that she’d not be interested. If you watch the video, you’ll even see that her boyfriend wishes he could beat up the internet.

Not wanting to be pummelled, we just wanted to bring attention to her Youtube page and hope that you’ll take note of her exceptional tongue. While we’re very happy for her, it’s important to note that size isn’t everything, but you could certainly stand to emulate some of the moves in her videos to limber up before going down. Consider her dexterity aspirational and use it for whatever suits you, even The Art of Blowjob or The Art of Cunnilingus!

Ballsy New Venture

Ballsy bike lights

Canada is responsible for some pretty great inventions: basket ball, penicillin, anything else I learned on a Canadian Heritage Minute. Now we have one more! You remember truck nuts? Well, Toronto designers have gone a step further and come up with Bike Balls. That’s right!

They’re like truck nuts (in a way) except that they hang out under the seat of your bike and actually serve as a great source of light to let people behind you know that you’re a bike. A bike with BALLS! Now, I don’t actually know how to ride a bike, but I might have to start because these just sound too great for words. But… do they turn blue when you really need to get somewhere but you’re stuck at a light or in a big urban traffic jam? These are the thoughts that show you that I definitely work for The Art of Blowjob!

What do you think? Would you embrace this unconventional invention? The Kickstarter is over and they made 3x what they asked (nearly 40k) but you can still back it if you like!

Cosmo Tips Gone Wrong

By Loryn Brantz of Buzzfeed

By Loryn Brantz of Buzzfeed

In this hilarious (and horrifying) comic by , you can learn all the blowjob tips you SHOULD NEVER DO, as (mostly) seen in Cosmopolitan magazine. They’re known for their hilarious enthusiasm for scrunchies, sticky syrups and humming, but I don’t think they ever actually advocated using open flames… that may be a little creative license. Still, I guess her heart is in the right place with the use of a soothing burn ointment handjob… Right?

See the full comic here and then… Don’t try this at home. Well, maybe try the show tunes part.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Sexy Piper lounging

Happy St. Patrick’s day, everyone. Piper’s Irish eyes are smiling and she’s covered up with a beautiful green wrap. If you’re Irish or just enthusiastic about leprechauns, the colour green, drinking or yelling along to Irish ditties, it’s a pretty fun holiday. For us, it’s mostly about making terribly awesome puns about oral sex. After all, today is a day to get lucky! And what makes you luckier than licking? Of course, you can always kiss the “blarney stone” which theoretically could mean just about anything, but we mean genitals. 😉 Top of the morning wood to ye! And, for the more analingus-ly focused: bottoms up! I think my favourite one by far is that, well, it’s magically delicious. And really, what’s more magical or delicious than oral sex?

However you say it, you can celebrate St. Patrick’s day with us at The Art of Blowjob and The Art of Cunnilingus.

Last Minute Halloween Idea?

Pam from Archer

Pam, the loveable HR representative from Archer.

Halloween is just around the corner. It’s my favourite time of year, I’d have to say. I love dressing up, parties and candy. I’m not actually so much about the spooky stuff, but one of my favourite traditions is to carve a bunch of pumpkins, save the seeds and toast them to eat later while watching a few of the classic Treehouse of Horror Simpson’s Halloween specials. While I already know what I’m going as (Pam from Archer: see header photo) I have just the thought for those of you who are 2 days out from various parties without a single idea of what to wear:

So easy! A suit jacket with tails, fishnet thigh highs and a g-string with a bow tie. Oh, and the incredibly ability to move your buns to Beethoven in perfect time with grace and elegance. I assume at least one of you will wear this… But who will it be? Regardless, I hope you enjoy this ode to the butt and to one of the world’s most celebrated composers. Can’t forget about him.