Thank goodness it’s no longer a winter wonderland here…  It’s almost May, after all.  Some people have called Montreal “Porn Valley North” because of all the business we do up here, but there definitely isn’t nearly as much production as there is in the golden sun of California.  We just have some pretty big companies and then a few entrepreneurs who have a very good thing going.  ;)

But what would happen if, in light of the ongoing battles the porn industry is having with the state about condoms, they decided to pack it in and move somewhere totally different?  Gram Ponante created an excellent satirical article about the Porn Valley exodus…  To Maine!  In it, he has fake quotations from all sorts of stars and producers, which make it feel all the more real:

“We use the natural environment,” says Braun, picking a lobster from Anikka Albrite, nearly blue from cold, “and we are just up the river from the excellent outlet stores of Kittery.”

…

“Some we left with didn’t make it across,” admits Evil Angel owner John Stagliano, who regrets taking the southern route. “We lost 20 percent of us at the Arizona Mills Mall alone. They’re just wandering in and out of the Rainforest Cafe giving blowjobs under the tiki lamps. They can’t stand the cold.”

I can only imagine how many of them would scatter across the country if they were headed to Montreal.  Not only would they be cold, they might not even understand what people were saying.  That said, we have poutine, which might just make up for all the harsh Canadian weather and the Francophonie!

Hopefully you’ll read the rest of the post.  It’s a serious issue, but Gram put an excellent spin on things, as he always does.