The Art of Blowjob and Slow Motion Blowjob are definitely about the visuals, but the words certainly add to the eroticism. Not to say that it’s exactly erotica, but it’s a way of describing the action that goes beyond just what you can see in the shot. I wouldn’t necessarily claim it to be the best writing in the world, but it’s interesting to see that even some acclaimed published writers can’t really evoke anything sexy when they write about sex.
What am I talking about? This gem of a list. It’s the worst sex scenes from modern literature. While I wouldn’t say that all of them are THAT terrible, some of them made me cringe just to read them. Here are a few that particularly made me giggle:
From Winkler by Giles Coren: “… and [she] lifted herself from his face and whipped the pillow away and he gasped and glugged at the air… and he yelled with the pain, but the yell could have been anything… she scratched his back deeply with the nails of both hands and he shot three more times in thick stripes on her chest. Like Zorro.”
From Ed King by David Guterson: “She took him by the wrist and moved the base of his hand into her pubic hair until his middle fingertip settled on the no-man’s-land between her ‘front parlor’ and ‘back door’ (those were the quaint, prudish terms of her girlhood), she got him on the node between neighbouring needs (both of which had been explored by johns who almost never tarried).”
And, perhaps most importantly, I hope we can agree to never quote Norman Mailer by referring to blowjobs as “[taking] his old battering ram into her lips” because that is just not arousing.
I think erotic writing is best left to those who actually intend on exciting the reader. Fleshbot agrees, as they’ve just launched Fleshbot Fiction, a site entirely devoted to erotica.
So, how about you? Do you like reading erotica, or even erotic descriptions? And how do these mainstream literary attempts at evoking sex make you feel?