Monthly Archives: July 2013

Making the Circumcision Decision Based on Blowjobs?

Beautiful blowjob by a seductive redhead

Sometimes I just want the world to stop jumping to all sorts of conclusions, particularly about sex and our bodies.  This article from Jezebel is the latest example, and it practically makes me shudder, and certainly makes my heart go out to all sorts of people who have these misguided assumptions about themselves or their prospective partners…  This is particularly about one woman’s decision to circumcise her child because she wanted him to get blowjobs when he grows up, assuming that someone with a foreskin would be less likely to get them because of prejudices against the uncircumcised in North America…  Seriously?

To anyone who thinks this could be true: it isn’t.  Any person who you would want to suck your penis would not think this.  Scrub good, of course, but that’s universal.  Everyone should make sure to smell/taste good, but having a foreskin requires what?  A few more seconds of washing?  It’s not that tough.  They’re retractible, they don’t get in the way, if anything they give a little more to play with…  There’s no shame in being circumcised or uncircumcised.

Everyone has their reasons for choosing whether or not to circumcise their child, but this consideration should absolutely not be an issue.  All it does is further the notion that it’ll be harder to get blowjobs with a foreskin, and we shouldn’t be floating that idea around or giving it any kind of credibility.  It’s giving great penises a bad name, and no one needs any more sexual or body-related shame in their life!

What do you think?  Is there any validity to this kind of thinking?  Has anything like this ever crossed your mind?  Or did this article make you hopping mad or frustrated?

Porn Sex, Real Sex and Food

I love food.  I love sex.  I love making porn.  This video is right up my alley…  It’s the perfect fusion! But, more than that, it explains the crucial difference between what goes on in porn and what goes on in the average bedroom with some facts to back it up, and it does so in a charmingly witty way.  I was surprised that this isn’t made by Make Love, Not Porn, but it’s by an independent production studio called Kornhaber Brown.  Comes with a British voiceover, though, hence the mistake.  😉

One thing this made me realize is that, despite not being a traditional mainstream pornstar, I am pretty adventurous.  A number of those food-related acts pertained to me!  Though, the Nutella was a bridge too far…  That doesn’t actually happen (especially to that extent) in anal play, unless there’s an underlying issue.  No Nutella on the banana.  I just hope that hasn’t ruined chocolate for me.

Which part of this was the best for you?  I think the whipped cream in the pancake face/mouth was adorable and surprisingly tantalizing.  It certainly got me hungry, and made me smile, too.  Maybe I’ll go search for a little cream…  Don’t mind if I do!

Demonizing Male Sexuality

sweet and sensual blowjob by redhead Camille Crimson

This is one of the best articles I’ve read on Good Men Project in a long time, and it actually links up nicely with our recent discussion about men feeling wanted vs. needed.  This is specifically about how men’s sexuality is always seen as aggressive, how they always have to be told to back off and stop and how all of this ends up hurting everyone involved, and I totally agree.

So much of why my sites focus on the give and take, the playfulness and the joy of mutual pleasure from giving/receiving pleasure and on being neutral as opposed to having either of us always in control…  I don’t like the idea that men are always in charge, or that a woman in charge is always a kinky thing.  Humans are so much more complex than that, and it leads to bad things when men have all the responsibility, and certainly when women are intimidated by men sexually because of it.

I think that so many of the people here in this community are gentle men, or at least men who are capable of being gentle.  There are so many parts of our society who default to thinking men are always brutish, especially in sex.  This collective alone shows that this is not the only case.  But how do we spread that to everyone else?  Well, this article has 5 really great steps to do exactly that.  They want men to be allies to women in their struggles, they want men to communicate actively and listen, to be open instead of always trying to play games or seduce us by the book, to be reasonable and understanding when rejection happens and to find ways to feel beautiful in a world that doesn’t hold male beauty in high regard.

A lot of these things have been touched on here, and I think that’s wonderful.  I’m wondering, how many of you feel impacted by this notion of male sexuality as demonized?  How has this experience impacted the way you have sex, the way you see yourself as sexual and the way you interact with people in other ways?

Glory Hole

Sweet sucking at a glory hole

Okay, so, first off just to be clear: this is not taken at a real glory hole…  We utilized a partition in our room to make it feel like his penis was the only focus, like at a glory hole.  I knew very well that it was Mike on the receiving side.  😉  The whole concept of a disembodied penis to pleasure can be very sexy when you feel safe, which is exactly what we did in this video.

A lot of it was about getting into the mindset that I would honestly know Mike’s penis anywhere.  If there were a lineup of a million, I’d spot his right away.  That’s the kind of familiarity that comes from years upon years together, but also from being really present when I give him blowjobs.  It’s wonderful to be able to escape into this kind of fantasy because it’s so grounded in a beautiful mutual understanding.  We just get each other, sexually of course in this case, but also in every other way.  Even with our playful attempts at roleplaying here to explore different dynamics, it’s always set on the foundation of love.

I wish for all of you all this kind of experience.  Hearing comments of the wonderful ways people can explore and play together while still staying respectful, connected and loving is such a great aspect of this blog, so I hope that this video echoes that beautiful sentiment.  Let me know what you think!  The still and description will give you an idea, and then the full video will certainly show you exactly what I mean.

Tumblr’s Porn Issue

Loving sweet blowjob by a hot redhead

As many (most/all) of you know, I have a Tumblr!  I love posting to it, I really enjoy seeing what other people post and I find I have a lot of rich back and forth there with kind people who really value erotic photography.  Although we’ve moved much more towards videos for our sites over the past few years, I still think that our photography is gorgeous and am very proud of it.

Since Yahoo bought Tumblr, they’re moving in a more adult-unfriendly direction, even though they said they have no intention of getting rid of adult photography.  They frown upon directly uploaded videos (which I learned, and quickly kept to photography) unless it’s through a third party, but that tends to wreak havoc on the server, so it’s primarily known for photos and GIFs.

It’s been hard to follow exactly what’s been going on, but they’ve been going back and forth between removing adult, NSFW and even content tagged as erotica from indexing, meaning that we can’t be searched nearly as readily.  Furthermore, they’re now associating tags like gay, lesbian and bisexual with the porn ban, which is incredibly demeaning to all non-pornographic discussion of LGBT issues, and also silly…  Does that mean “straight” is next?

I understand that businesses change and that not everyone wants their websites full of erotic content, but it’s undeniable that a good percentage of Tumblr’s popularity was because of the many very specific and searchable erotic niches it had to offer.  It’s just another instance of porn getting pushed out of mainstream spaces, even when it has artistic merit.

What do you think?  Do you think this is valid, or do you think that they should stick more by their original promise to not rock the NSFW boat.

Wanting and Needing Men

Today, I stumbled upon an article from Good Men Project about the distinction between wanting and needing men.  It’s largely about the way women have “caught up” to men socially, and how men don’t know who they are anymore without their traditional roles to provide for and protect…  Now that we have rights (Here. I’m not saying we have achieved equality, especially not in many other parts of the world…) and can handle things ourselves without society getting in the way, there’s been a crisis of masculinity.

All of that is important, and something we’ve discussed here in the past, but what really got me was the idea of how men have to feel needed because they don’t feel wanted.  This is especially relevant for me in a sexual context.  Even when people talk about how women “need” men sexually, it’s always about either procreation or some primal need, not a more surface, pleasure-based need.  And that’s sad.  We’re taught that women are beautiful and to be desired, and men aren’t, outside of the men we’ve deemed “the hottest” according to magazine rankings, of course.  😉

Even in porn, men don’t get to be the candy.  Sure, we can say that’s because most porn is still aimed at heterosexual men, but I think it’s valuable for there to be focus on the sexiness of a man. I love to make Mike feel sexy and wanted.  It’s nice to feel deeply desired.  It may come off as aggressive for a woman to intensely desire a man, but I try to show in every video we make just how much I want Mike.  It’s not just a biological thing…  I find him sexy.  I feel that visceral draw to him.  And I make that known as much as I can.

It’s sexy to have this back and forth, and I really hope that more people adopt it.  It’s good for self-esteem, it’s good for furthering equality and it’s good for really beautiful sexual experiences.  What do you think?  Do you feel desired?  Do you desire?  Is this something you want in your life?  Or, even something you need?