I know we’ve discussed this in a way here before, but I read a really great little article/opinion piece about it on xoJane and I think it always (always!) is worth repeating and thinking about. We’re here because we enjoy blowjobs, of course, but we can’t forget about the love of cunnilingus too.
Emily from xoJane is wondering if there is as big a dearth of reciprocity as she has heard in the dating world. As much as I obviously adore blowjobs, there should be no expectations for pleasure without the desire to give it back in some way. Of course, not everyone even likes receiving oral sex that much (yes, they exist) but, as she so expertly put it: “I don’t always want you to eat my pussy, but I want you to want to eat my pussy, you know?”
That’s the main thing… We all want to feel desired and to feel like our partner is so into us that they want to be close to our body, intimately connected and wanting to do anything to just get closer and closer and closer. It’s not just about equality or politeness or a lack of selfishness… We just want to know how badly we’re wanted. It’s a beautiful cycle, ideally. We show we want each other, we feel wanted, we want to share more… It’s a lovely way to get what we need and create more intimacy and connection along the way.
Do you agree? What are the reasons you give pleasure? (I’m assuming you do… You do, right?)
Reason 1: Reciprocity. What goes around cums around. If you don’t please her, pretty soon (if not already) she’ll stop pleasing you. Who wants lose/lose when you can get win/win?
Reason 2: Knowledge Is Power. Women are complicated– I don’t think anyone is denying this. Vaginal orgasms, clitoral orgasms, multiple orgasms, G-spots, vaginas, vulvas, labia: there’s a lot of things to learn, and you have to learn them anew for each new woman. And you’re not going to learn anything by just “feeling around in the dark.” Get down there and look! And then, while you’re looking, stick your tongue out.
Reason 3: Giving Is Fun. It’s why we wrap presents and throw surprise parties. I don’t think I’ve ever regretted time spent giving oral, even when my tongue cramped up and my face turned blue because I’d forgotten to breathe for 30 minutes.
Reason 4: 69. ‘Nuff said.
Reason 5: The look on her face when you come back up for air. You KNOW you’re next in line to get a blowjob now!
Those are all really wonderful reasons, Cal. Sounds like any lady would be so lucky.
I’m going to try to get lots of sleep really soon… alone. Before I do so, and long before I might post another comment, I have to state the following:
Complicated? No, women are not complicated naturally. Society encourages Women to be as such… confusing. Naturally, Women are hot-damn wow and wonderful. Women accepting societal conditioning makes Them usually more than just not so nice to continually be with.
I’m not totally sure I understand what you mean by that… I don’t think any of us are inherently any more complicated or less complicated than men… All of this varies from person to person.
Additionally, a women can choose to be not pleased no matter how horny/wanting She truly/naturally is. I totally enjoy orally pleasing a female. Though some have been totally accepting, covering My face with Their virginal nectar, I have been way too often dismayed by inhibition that had no reason to be. Though patient, I do have My limits and must move on if My sexual partner is not going to allow Herself to be pleasured totally and fully.
I think one of the best things anyone can do as a lover is to be understanding. Everyone has things that hold them back in one way or another.
* I just meant physically complex, as in more options and parts (and bells and whistles) to stimulate and learn about than with men (and I only say that as a man who loves learning). If men are stick figures, women are tesseracts. But the higher the stakes, the greater the reward! (How’s that for mixing metaphors?)
Haha, of course. That said, some guys are complex on that front, too. There are always exceptions to the rule.
Anyway, it’s not about who’s more “what,” but about who’s more “who.” We go down on our lovers because we love them. Right?
Exactly! I couldn’t have said it better myself.
I love performing cunnilingus as much if not more than receiving a blowjob.
Where do I start, the sweet taste, aroma/scent, wetness of a pussy I find all this so exciting and arousing.
I love licking along the pussy, sucking on the lips, poking my tongue inside, sucking the juices out and swallowing them, making a woman cum this way is so beautifull to me.
I love flicking my tongue, circling and sucking the clit of a pussy, writing the alphabet from a to z with my tongue on the clit works wonders – it makes them cum every time I’ve never ever got to Z without the moans and pleasure of orgasm sweeping through a lady yet.
It is without doubt a great pleasure for me to go down on a woman. I would go as far as saying I prefer oral sex (giving and receiving) more than screwing.
I’ve never had any complaints yet, so I must be doing something right.
That is so awesome, Pete. People who are genuinely excited about the process as well as the goal are always the most fun.
If I’m with a woman I want her to enjoy herself, and to enjoy me. Whether it’s with cock, hands, toys, tongue, or even something like voice or eye contact.
There might be aspects of control in there – focus and self-control and awareness in bringing out her sensuality and her want in myriad ways – but mostly it’s just that I love giving and sharing that primal joy with a woman who I feel intimate with.
I think that is so great, especially how open you are to giving pleasure by any means necessary.
Gerard, you have a stick up your arse. We get that you have issues with women but this is not the place to air your problems. Nothing of what you say has any relevance here. Please go away.
On topic, I find that men are usually less keen on reciprocating. Of course I learned at school that boys certainly expected blowjobs without giving back, citing that pussies were disgusting. This swept across to the girls and just led to a bunch of self hating women. I really hate that. If someone isn’t willing to give back, I would break up with them. I’m not the only one who would do so, who wants to feel resentful that they always give and never get? I don’t believe all of this self-sacrificing nonsense. At least more people are becoming more educated now and not behaving like pussies are the devil incarnate is a great start. I like the photo very much. It’s something that never fails to make me happy
But then I think I mentioned that I prefer a little lady action so that’s not new for me
Let’s play nice, Selina. You can disagree without keeping others from expressing themselves.
It’s really too bad that it’s been your experience. That would certainly make someone resentful… I hope that people are slowly learning, and I think they are.
I’ve commented on this before…You need to show Mike worshipping your ass and clit with his tongue. If he won’t do it I will.
We’re happy showing what we are doing right now. I don’t need to do anything unless I want to. And thanks, but we don’t need a stand-in.
Hiya CC,
I’ve seen most everything you’ve done, but I don’t recall that gorgeous picture–it is in any of the sets on TAOBJ?
Dave O.
Yes it is! It’s a still from our 69 video from last year.