Well, wouldn’t you know? I’ve posted 800 updates on this blog. That seems like a whole lot to me. Well, here’s another. I’ve decided to devote it to today’s Ask Camille column on Fleshbot. I got a very wide variety of questions, so I’ve been trying to switch them up from week to week. This one was about analingus AKA rimming.
Now, I don’t have a ton of experience with the act itself compared to, say, blowjobs, but it falls under the auspices of the oral arts, so I figured I could certainly chime in. Besides, the question wasn’t so much about technique as it was about broaching the subject. Essentially, it boiled down to whether it’s better to ask first or explain later, which is something very important to sex in general.
In the end, I hope I was able to give the right kind of advice and give a real life application of a way to handle the situation and turn something potentially awkward into something very sexy and self-esteem boosting. Read for yourself and tell me… How did I do?
[comment copied from the Fleshbot forum]
You raise such an important point in this response, Camille. I’m not into rimming, but making every sex act include an affirmation of the other person’s importance is crucial. If you’re [X]ing somebody simply because you like to [X], then they’re just going to feel used, an anonymous tool for your selfish pleasure— even if your intention was their pleasure. But if you communicate clearly that you want to [X] them because you love THEM, that you’re giving them pleasure because they are uniquely attractive to you, that your pleasure is fundamentally connected to their pleasure… well, that’s pretty much the hottest thing on earth. Whether it’s analingus, cunnilingus, or just an old-fashioned french kiss, there’s no bigger turn-on than convincing someone that they are the only person in the entire world you want to [X] right now.
I’m so happy you commented, Cal. I’ll go over there and respond to it as well, but as you always know, you’re completely correct. Involving both parties is crucial.
No more Monday updates?
We’re retooling the concept to be open to more than just Mondays.