Here’s a really interesting piece from an old zine called Learning Good Consent, at least as far as my Google research has lead me to believe, which I found through Sexplore.me, who just happen to have recently done an interview with me. They’re an up and coming sex blog dealing with all sorts of things to do with sexuality, porn, self-discovery… Suffice it to say, I’m pretty enthralled so far. This particular piece is something that stuck out to me as very interesting and I’d love to hear your take on it.
Essentially, many people believe in asking these questions, which I think are great tools for communication, but I also wonder to what extent people use it every time, even if they’re with a partner with whom they’ve had sex many times. I suppose that some of these questions, particularly those aimed at learning likes and dislkes, are more based on introductions, but most of them are ongoing.
I think checking in is a really nice idea, and being aware that consent is an ongoing thing. I like knowing that, if I for some reason didn’t feel like I wanted to give a blowjob some day (shocking concept, I know!) that it wouldn’t be assumed or questioned unduly, which is something I feel I have innate in my relationship. It’s not something I think about actively in such an ongoing sexual experience, but it’s certainly something at play.
So, what about you? How much do you think about consent in your sexual encounters? Do you feel like it empowers people? Do you feel like it takes away some elements of seduction, or do you feel that it can be seductive in and of itself? Do you ask any of these questions, either upfront or ongoing? I really would be fascinated to hear your thoughts and experiences.