Apparently women don’t want a lot of things (well, namely, types of people) in their vaginas, at least according to this ad. It’s a funny, tongue-in-cheek way of addressing the issue of condoms with too many irritants in their lubrication and spermicide, and I think it’s a pretty entertaining way to include the message. I love when you can sneak in pertinent information along with humour or sexuality or even cute cats… You know me!
That said, I think it’s too bad if women actually have these types of limitations. I can definitely see the validity in some of them (the guys who come up and grind on you without your permission, whoever this Brad guy is…) but I think that keeping an open mind (and vagina?) is a good thing, because you never know when you’ll find the magician of your dreams! And, of course, the same thing goes for men! You may find that the person you end up with isn’t the one you’d expect, so there’s no point building up walls if you’re only going to have to take them back down.
I hope this made you laugh, but I’d also love to know if you have any of these dealbreakers, or (sadder) if you’ve ever had any dealbreakers applied to you! I’ve got my listening hat on, so I’m all ears!
Can the same apply to men? Let’s see…
Places I don’t want my penis to go: in a dental hygienist; in a female bodybuilder; in Brad’s sister Stacy; in the goth chick with multiple clit piercings and a tattoo of an angry dragon around her vagina; in a bowling ball at Larry’s Lanes.
Hmm. By the same token, there are tons of places I would LOVE to let my penis go… as long as it was welcome and wanted. That’s pretty much the only important thing. As long as the sign on the door says “Open for Business,” I’ll take a look. Or at least window-shop. Because who knows? Maybe the dental hygienist only causes excruciating pain with sharp objects when she’s at work? And maybe the bowling ball at Larry’s Lanes only looks like she lets every grubby finger inside, but is actually a sparkling-clean vintage model hoping for a perfect strike?
I don’t think I’ve ever dated or slept with people I “expected” to be with, but they’ve all taught me new things, and I don’t regret any of them. Every single person is unique, and I know that as long as I don’t let myself become an investment banker or local news anchor, I’ll find someone whose vagina is just dripping to let me slip inside… and so what if it’s because she’s the orca trainer at Sea World!
I think that last paragraph is the key to it all. I wish you and the orca trainer all the best.
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