Today, I was writing a description on Tumblr and I narrowly missed a typo: cum loaf instead of cum load. That would have been embarrassing, but I decided it’d be funny enough to share it on Twitter. People found it pretty amusing, as I expected they would, and then I bumped into this nice little infographic over at PixlMonster with some nutritional information, among other things.
I’ve seen it floating around before, and it’s a nice way to learn a little more about cum! I also laughed out loud at “serving per Package”… I assume they’re talking about THAT package. Though, I could do without that little titbit at the end… I don’t mean to judge, but that did make me shudder.
Then, a Dumb Domme reminded me about the cum cookbook Natural Harvest, which I’ve written about before… A cum loaf could be a very nice pairing with some artisanal herbed olive oil or a nice stew. Who knows? Maybe I’ll experiment with the secret ingredient.
What do you think? Did you learn anything about cum? And would you ever eat, make or “go grocery shopping” for a cum loaf? :P
Will we ever see a recipe for cum loaf on the Food Channel?
If they give me my own show, then we may!
hahaha, that info graphic is great
you should do a video called ‘icing on the cake’…that would be very hot and naughty!
It would be a good excuse to break out the oven mitts!
An 18 ft. splooge?! That guy’s wielding a cum cannon that could kill bugs and stun small rodents! And his sex partner must have to take some very peculiar precautionary measures. Thanks for all the fun cum facts Camille!
You just have to hope that there was never an accidental misfire in the eye issue… That would be extremely painful and dangerous. Goggles, perhaps?
Good thing Mike’s not so freakishly empowered. You’d have to shield the cameras and lights with plexi-glass and keep your cats safely locked away.
That would downright hurt… I’d end up with cumshot abrasions, and it would end up burning invariably… We’re much better the way things are.
A Google search recovered more amazing facts about Horst “The Cum Cannon” Schultz. In addition to his epic distance record, he also holds the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4 in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.
Alas, no videos. I’d have to see Horst in action to truly believe it.
Horst could probably make a big splash in the porn industry… See what I did there?
Even having normal intercourse could be dangerous or painful with that guy. No way a normal condom could hold up under that kind of pressure! Although if you had tonsillitis, a blowjob from him could be an interesting and less surgical form of tonsillectomy…
My throat closed up in terror at the mere thought of it. Ouch!
He he he,
In our early 20s, I used hubby’s sperm as a cosmetic, for the skin on my face or chest. It took me almost twenty years to find out that sperm is also an excellent pack of healthy nutrients.
As we’re sort of supplementing freaks, when I read about the nutrients in sperm — fructose sugar, ascorbic acid (a.k.a., vitamin C), citric acid, enzymes, protein, phosphate and bicarbonate buffers (bases), zinc — I told hubby that we shouldn’t “waste” much sperm on the skin, I’ll swallow it all.
But when he eats broccoli, quite often, then the sperm has a much bitter taste. So he offered his cum as an add on to my coffee or chicory root (a healthier substitute to coffee) morning drink.
It often turns out that we have no time to elaborate on recipes (such as adding cum to blends of avocado or to minced flax seeds in olive oil) and so I end up swallowing it raw and warm, au naturel. Miam, miam!
That sounds so cool! I love that you took the bitterness thing and turned it into a positive trait by adding it to coffee. I think this all just sounds fascinating. You’re really cool, Doris!
If this cum as food thing catches on, it could become a commodity like oranges or pork bellies. I could be “milked” daily and make some extra bucks!
Seriously! The options are endless! Spread it on sandwiches. Stir it into scrambled eggs (but be careful you don’t fertilize the omelet!). Freeze it into ice-cream. Or how about a veggie dip for the party platter? Mix it with horseradish and drizzle on a steak? Or in a Bloody Mary?
I would be more than happy to help fight world hunger and support nutrition…
It sounds like your full culinary potential is about to… explode.
I just had a picture of you in some sort of pastoral barn and then going to the farmer’s market with your… wares.
Grant idea Camille! I’m off to the farmer’s market.
“Fresh cum, fresh cum for sale! Milked to order and yours for only $…”
You could even get bottles made with your smiling face giving a thumbs up.
Seize the opportunity Camille. Make a deal with Horst and launch horst-cum-cannon.com It could be HUGE!
If I ever sell out, it’ll be for that.
Thanks Camille that’s really interesting, you know I often read descriptions of cum being salty but my husband is on a low salt diet and his isn’t at all. His tastes quite sweet, he eats a lot of fruit!
I have also read it has anti-depressant qualities, well it always cheers me up anyway…
Cum is a natural mood booster for me too.