Sometimes I find things that make me laugh out loud and immediately think that I have an incredibly dirty mind. Sometimes these things are in the form of advertisements for giant gummy worms. Today is one of those times. But really, watch these people react to, play with and attempt to eat these gigantic phallic candies and tell me you see anything else.
I know they already lean into it a bit with the guy saying that the gummy worm is as long as his… leg, but really, this is only the tip of the iceberg, or candy worm, in this case. Oh, did I mention that the tip has a smiley face on it? Because of course it does. The best part is from the website’s FAQ and the video comments, though. Without fail, most people seem to want to use it for sexual purposes… Here’s my Camille Crimson public service announcement of the day… Just say no to sugar in the vagina. That’s an infection waiting to happen. Also, at 4000 calories of pure sugar, this probably isn’t that good for you even if you put it in your mouth instead. Unless you had a party and invited all your friends, but then it starts to sound sexual again. ;)
So, what did you think? Did you see the dirty things I saw? And did they make you laugh?
How long before a porn site has a video posted with a giant gummy worm in a pussy? Perhaps the gummy worm manufacturers should post your public service announcement on the candy wrapper!!!
My guess is that something similar has already been done… Rule #34!
If you don’t look at that thing and think “giant candy cock” you’re either naive or damn near clueless. The modest folk at Vat-19 can’t say its a gummy penis but they clearly know that’s what we’re all thinking. In fact, they’re banking on it.
A giant gummy penis would probably sell pretty well… I guess the potential lawsuits would outweigh the financial incentives.
Some friends actually gave me one of these a few years ago at a party, and it was most definitely the highlight of the night. I think everyone got photographed in a unique “compromising” pose with the giant peni—, er, gummy worm, and we even got out a butcher knife and offered salami-style slices as hors d’oeuvres (which was somewhat distressing from a Freudian sense). The only problem was that when the party was over, there were still two feet of gummy worm left, and by the next morning it had melted a little and permanently fused with the kitchen table, then fossilized into rock-hard inedibility… in other words, unlike a real penis, you can only eat a giant gummy worm when it’s flaccid and limp.
I can’t believe you actually got one! That is hilarious and amazing. Of course you did. That is just too cool, although the morning-after gummy disaster sounds a little less appetizing. Maybe it needed some saran wrap.