This is a really hilarious video that I found on Violet Blue‘s site and couldn’t resist sharing it with you. Springboarding off of the brilliant Australian sperm donation ad that I blogged about a while back, I figured I’d share this “brilliant innovation” as the next logical step in sperm donation. So, what do you think? Disturbing peek into the future or a welcome alternative payment method? And what about us women? Egg donation is a lot more painful and time-consuming… Maybe this is best left in the realm of sexual science fiction.
I actually had two friends in college who donated sperm.
And yes, they spent most of the cash on alcohol. I was seriously considering it myself but the idea of some woman handing me a sperm cup, a Playboy and directing me to the “Jacko-torium” freaked me out. At age twenty-one, would I have used a private “Sperm ATM” to score booze and/or pot money? I’m thinking yes.
What is the going rate for healthy sperm? Anyone know?
Re: “going rates”–
The Sperm Bank of California requires donors to make “deposits” at least once a week for 6-12 months, and they pay $100 for each successful ejaculation. They also pay for final blood screenings and other potential benefits. Some other places I’ve seen (almost all the U.S. banks are either based in CA or MA) require 1 to 2-year contracts, and pay about the same. So we’re talking about roughly $5000+ per year. But that also means that you’re not having very much extracurricular sex, because the banks ask that donors not ejaculate within 24-48 hours of donating (so as to achieve maximum ejaculations), and if you’re donating twice a week, that basically kills any other chances of having sex (or even jacking off to TAOB). So, I mean, it’s perfect for someone who knows he’s going to be single for the immediate future, and it’s a nice source of additional income, but it is a little more demanding than a “Cryos” ATM transaction…
Whoa, that’s a lot of abstaining from sex! I didn’t realize that it effectively meant not much if any sex.
Camille, we men can only cum “x” number of times a month.
How many orgasms can women have in a day, a week or a month (Ladies, feel free to venture a guess). The mind boggles. I honestly don’t know how a man with a willing sex partner could adhere to the pleasure-denying protocol demanded by Sperm Banks. I wonder how many men get booted from the program because they cheat a lot and fail to meet the Sperm Bank’s “cum quota?”
Also, are men who can’t or don’t want to woo a sex partner of 6-12 months really ideal sperm donors?
Well, I guess doing it for the right reasons could give them the ability to focus on their sperm bank goals. I could see scenarios in which that could be a very beneficial little break from the chase.
It’s hilarious that the beer money thing is so often true.
Those two guys who “came for cash” actually make a road trip to a state without liquor taxes and bought several cases of vodka, rum and whiskey. While their stockpile lasted, it was known to all as “the jizz booze.” Both of them always said “drink my jizz” when they served up a cocktail.
Sounds like they were some very classy gents.
You should make a video with this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwB9xQpkpn0
Greetings from Brazil.
I think that would be hard with creative commons, but thanks for the suggestion.
This is unrelated to the sperm-donor post, but I was just thinking… would anyone else be interested in having Camille do a post about “blowjob maintenance for men”? I’m thinking a kind of nuts-and-bolts, Home Improvement theme, dealing with how she, as a blowjob guru, feels about stuff like pube-grooming (to trim, to shave, to wax, and where?), the flavor myth (do pineapples really make semen taste sweeter?), basically anything that men can do to help improve the blowjob experience for the ladies in our lives. Obviously it’s Camille’s blog, and she’s free to post whatever she wants, which is why I’m just asking if anyone else might be interested in a topic like this?
Cal, I second the motion. Camille could provide invaluable advice to clueless men everywhere regarding this topic. Of course, it is for Camille to decide if we are worthy of her wisdom.
Pineapples as a cum sweetener? Cal, where do you find this stuff?
I’ve heard about it for a long time, but have never followed a strict enough diet (or had a lady around when I did) to see if it really works. There are all kinds of rules and guidelines to hypothetically help improve the taste: fruits (tropical and apples), veggies (especially celery, never asparagus), cinnamon and peppermint, no red meats or cheeses, no coffee or cigarettes, etc etc. Paul Joannides has a whole section on improving semen flavor in “The Guide to Getting It On” (which is just an excellent book anyway), and there’s a number of web articles out there like http://ezinearticles.com/?Sperm-Taste—10-Simple-Tips-For-Better-Tasting-Semen&id=164106. But I’m curious to see if Camille has any actual first-hand stories to prove these rumors true or false.
Pineapple seems to be true from my experience, but I’d say the key is just a healthy, balanced diet more than anything else. I guess you’ll hear more from me on the subject in my upcoming blog post!
Alright, I’ll work on something for next week!
Would you guys like that? That could definitely be a fun thing to do. I’d actually really like that.
Yes Camille, enlighten your fans (both men and women) on the Art Of Blowjob. Men would truly appreciate your advice on how to make their partners feel more comfortable about oral sex. And I can only imagine the treasure trove of knowledge you could impart to women regarding the oral pleasuring of men.
I really think your fans would enjoy a regular column on the Art of Blowjob. If it sounds like a fun idea to you, please (pretty please) go with it. If nothing else, it would make Cal and I très très heureux.
I don’t know if I could make it a recurring column, but definitely pointers from time to time after the initial blog.
Thank you Camille. I like your pointers idea. Please toss one out whenever you feel inspired.
I certainly will!
Hey, would it be possible to get a link for this video from Violet Blue’s website?
Ooo and I might add, this is a very cute and informative website. I am happy to have stumbled upon it today. Hehe
Here it is: http://www.tinynibbles.com/blogarchives/2011/05/sex-machines-sperm-collector-and-analyzer.html