Slut Walk
30 May
Today, we have a special report from Sophie on her experience at this Sunday’s Montreal Slut Walk.
Thank you, Camille. Yes, I spent this Sunday enjoying what ended up being a lovely sunny afternoon with a bunch of sluts and slut supporters. Sounds peculiar? Maybe, but let me explain. The idea of the Slut Walk came after a member of the Toronto Police Department gave a lecture on sexual assault prevention at York University, stating that women should avoid dressing like sluts if they want to avoid being raped. Yes, someone actually decided to say that do a group of women.
The Slut Walk started in Toronto as a response to those comments, but it’s a much bigger issue than that and it quickly spread all over the world, with satellite versions of the demonstration in many cities all over the world. Why did it become such a big deal? Essentially, we live in a culture where sexuality is fraught with a lot of very bizarre and contradictory ideas, when it comes to all genders. We get taught to simultaneously hide and flaunt our bodies. We get shoved into rigid gender definitions which create internal conflict and bizarre social power struggles. We don’t know how to enjoy ourselves or let others enjoy themselves without judgement or abuse.
The main issue people have with the Slut Walk is just that, because it’s addressing several different problems, it doesn’t necessarily seem to have one clear message. (I think it does: Nothing justifies rape.) It’s easy to tease out the multiple valid messages, but by the looks of most commenters on news sites, it seems like people don’t like to think. What I want to do is just address some of the frequent criticisms of the Slut Walk movement in an effort to dispel some of the confusion.
Slut is a bad word. Calling this the Slut Walk is demeaning and sets women back.
The Slut Walk is kind of twofold on this issue. Many people are using the Slut Walk as an opportunity to reclaim the word, taking away the negative power and replacing it with joy. Books like The Ethical Slut talk about a way to enjoy sex while being safe and without hurting anyone in the process, for example. Slut could just mean a person who enjoys sex and has a lot of it. What’s wrong with that. It’s pretty badass.
Then again, some people don’t identify as sluts and just go along with the name because it’s a direct link to the comments about dressing like a slut, which was the ultimate form of slut shaming. (Slut shaming = making someone feel crappy because their behaviour or dress is outside one person’s particular comfort zone.)
That police officer was right. Dressing provocatively is too tempting for some people!
This is victim/survivor blaming and it is unbelievably disrespectful. Anyone should have the right to live their lives in peace without fear of being attacked. Just as it’s pointlessly cruel to tell someone that they shouldn’t have been walking around with a cell phone if they didn’t want it to be stolen, it’s horrible to imply that it’s anyone’s fault but the person committing the crime. Why don’t we push it further? I’m a busty woman, so maybe I’m more of a target. Would you say that I shouldn’t have such big boobs if I didn’t want to be a target? Or someone who is exceptionally pretty? Would you say that they should hide their nice features so they don’t attract attention?
What about the fact that slutty to one person is perfectly chaste to another? We all have our definition of what’s modest or immodest. I feel judgement sometimes when I walk around in a t-shirt and jeans in my Hassidic neighbourhood because I know that my outfit is considered risky by people in that community. Just as many people would judge Camille for being on a porn site, you guys think she’s amazing for making such classy erotic material. Some people would strongly disagree with you and think she’s of low morals and asking for trouble. It’s all relative.
The sad fact is that rape and sexual assault know no skirt length. I recently read a comment somewhere (don’t remember where unfortunately) from an ER doctor who said that most of the sexual violence cases they saw were in sweatpants, jeans, t-shirts, sweaters, even footie pajamas. It’s also important to realize that a large percentage of sexual violence happens to children or the elderly. It’s an issue of control more than anything else across the board, so the whole idea of dressing like you’re “asking for it” is kind of a non-issue.
If you’re promiscuous or a sex worker, you’re sending out the message that you always want it.
Just no. No matter how many sexual partners you’ve had, whether you’ve had sex with this particular person before or whether you have sex for money, everyone has the right to say no. No behaviour justifies rape or sexual assault.
Why did you bother having a demonstration about it? Couldn’t you spend your time doing something more productive?
Sure, but then again, couldn’t we all just eat nothing but rice and give away all our worldly possessions and give all of our money to charity? The argument that this walk takes energy/time away from worthy causes is untrue. It’s important to bring messages like this to the public eye. Also, the proceeds from t-shirt sales and the event after the demonstration all went to Stella, a sex workers justice and advocacy group with initiatives in sexual assault prevention in schools and community centres all over Montreal. Most people involved in the Slut Walk are involved in projects and charities to support what they’re marching for.
This is all about hating men, isn’t it?
Not at all. Men can be sluts, men can be accused of dressing too provocatively and men can experience rape or sexual assault. Just because the majority of cases are men’s violence against women doesn’t mean that men’s experiences of sexual violence are any less respected or valid. Beyond male survivors, there were also lots of wonderful men there expressing their solidarity and respect. Signs like “Real Men Don’t Rape” were very popular. Consent is sexy, after all!
The most important thing is that the majority of slut walkers, especially the organizers and speakers, made it very clear that this is a societal problem. We are teaching don’t get raped instead of don’t rape, but this is bigger than that. We’ve created a very unfair society where people are getting all the wrong messages all the time. We need to teach consent, teach respect, teach fairness and raise children so that all their voices and feelings can be heard. I know I’m idealistic as hell, but it is possible, but only if we pay attention to these causes and get to the root of the problem.
My Sunday was spent in the company of people who really get it, and it couldn’t have been more spectacular. As one of the organizers and speakers said, “So call me a slut if you want to, but you can never use that word as an excuse to violate me.”
“Slut could just mean a person who enjoys sex and has a lot of it.”
That’s exactly what slut means to me. Slut isn’t a derogatory term to me.
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Camille Reply:
May 31st, 2011 at 5:22 pm
If that’s how we define slut, I think almost everyone would want to be a slut.
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I’ve got no problem with anyone involved in slutwalk. I would just like to take this opportunity to voice that women in North America, can pretty much wear anything they want, without repercussions.
Men, on the other hand, must either dress like 60-something businessmen, or adolescent teenagers. I have been ridiculed/hooted at on numerous occasions, because I wear shorts that don’t reach below my knees.
The current men’s fashion was inspired by athletes and rappers, covering up the drug injection sites on the tops of their thighs. Why should I be REQUIRED to dress like them?
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Camille Reply:
May 31st, 2011 at 5:30 pm
That sounds like that’s a fashion or style issue. I think Sophie is talking more about the fact that women feel in danger when they show “too much” of their bodies and people take that as an excuse to rape them. It’s mean to make fun of someone’s style, but I think it isn’t true that women here can wear whatever they want without repercussion, or people wouldn’t still think that women should dress modestly if they don’t want to be aggressed.
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Dave A Reply:
June 2nd, 2011 at 9:30 pm
This IS a fashion or style issue. Just because I am a man, and get ridiculed for wearing shorts above the knees, it is assumed I am gay, which I am not. Any attire out of the norm is considered promiscuous, and this is the root of the problem.
Why should women expect to wear short shorts and a sports bra (or less) in public without becoming an object of desire?
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Dave A Reply:
June 2nd, 2011 at 9:39 pm
Just to clarify, if I were to go in public wearing whatever I desire, 70′s vintage shorts, I would probably not get raped, but just killed instead.
Camille Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 7:02 pm
I think that the point of the Slut Walk is that no one should be made to feel unsafe because of their appearance, wardrobe, job, sexuality, etc… From what I’ve read, there was a gay man who spoke specifically to the fact that he faces this kind of scrutiny for what he wears. It sounds like, although you’re not gay, you’re experiencing the same type of homophobia and intimidation because people think that shorter shorts mean that you’re gay.
I become so disturbed with the negative reactions to Slut Walk, because the critics miss the message of the walk.
Sluts deserve respect. It is not the duty of any man to disrespect a woman because of her taste in cloths, or her manners. Men who claim because the woman is a slut, he can rape her, are not only damaging the woman, they are demeaning and damaging themselves. What kind of man, can find joy in raping a woman, he is less than a full man. He needs to grow into a man, not become a beast.
Women are usually the physically weaker sex. Men must respect every woman and her right to pick and chose her sexual partners, and who she does and does not flirt with.
It matters not how she dresses, and flirts, she is a woman and she is entitled to be respected, not classified as unworthy of respect because of her manners, dress etc.
If a woman rejects a man, but screws a million others, that man must look within himself why he was rejected. Forcing himself on her, will not make him more of a man, or a better man.
Alleging, that because she has big boobs, and leans over and shows off her cleavage entitled him to attack her is non-sense. Enjoy the view, but keep your hands off, unless she gives you the clue. There is no such thing as being overcome by desire as a result of her leaning over and showing off her boobs. A real man has control.
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Camille Reply:
June 2nd, 2011 at 3:17 pm
I completely agree with you, Ralph. If everybody would just accept and respect everyone’s right to say no, the world would be a much better place. The only people complaining about the Slut Walk, or feminism in general, are the ones who do not understand it and are afraid of having to do anything other than get exactly what they want whenever they want.
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A preface to my comments: No woman deserves to be sexually assaulted. Period.
I happen to think that Toronto PD was giving these young women good advice. However, the way they delivered the message was both sexists and counter-productive. Women who dress in sexually provocative manner are more likely to be the victims of sexual assault, particularly in situations involving alcohol, darkness and lots of young men.
A certain percentage of men have a predatory mentality toward women. Given the opportunity (and a perceived lack of consequences), these men will target the most sexually attractive women available (i.e. “sluts”). Should women feel free to dress as they wish without fear of sexual assault? Absolutely. But sadly, we live in a world where dressing sexy is not always a risk-free decision for women.
p.s. Before launching slings and arrows at me, please refer to my preface.
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Camille Reply:
June 2nd, 2011 at 4:43 pm
No slings and arrows, but I think that the fact is that the Slut Walk was a lot about looking at why we teach “don’t get raped” instead of “don’t rape” as Sophie said. That police officer was inappropriate in the way he communicated his message, but regardless of the way you phrase it, it’s an offensive bandage on a gaping societal wound. Allowing people to spread the message that “You shouldn’t dress provocatively to avoid being raped” means that, when someone goes in to report a rape while wearing a short skirt, they will be chastized and their attack will often be discredited. Police already have stated that reporting a rape can be more hassle than it’s worth since most rapes don’t result in convictions, and there was even a case in Canada recently where, because a woman was wearing a tube top, her rapist was acquitted because “sex was in the air.” When we teach people that they can’t live their lives as they want if they don’t want to get hurt, we create a world where we blame victims instead of perpetrators.
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Ralphtc Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 6:17 am
I agree, be a man, seduce, don’t rape. I have over the years attended “gentlemen’s clubs”, taken pictures of nude models, and participated in nudist camps.
In none of these setting did I believe because women were naked I was entitled to take advantage of them. If they wanted to show off their bodies, fine I enjoy. It is a far cry different thing to titillate my boyish fantasies regarding live naked women, as compared to enticing women to my bed in real life.
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Camille Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 7:05 pm
That’s exactly the right idea. Enjoy the people around you respectfully and learn how to genuinely engage with them. If they decline, respect it and move on. If everyone used this common sense… Well, I sound like a broken record but, you know.
Personally, I think that slut is, in fact, a bad word. Some feminist may be seeking to re-define the word but to 99.9% of the population, the word “slut” means: a sexually promiscuously woman lacking moral judgment. Yes, calling this protest “Slut Walk” is a very clever way of shouting “f*ck you!” at Toronto PD.
However, the purpose of any protest or movement is to persuade others of the justice of your cause. I think the banner “Slut Walk” serves only to confuse and alienate many who might be sympathetic to the underlying message.
Excuse me while I duck and cover.
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Camille Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 7:00 pm
It means a bad thing for now, but if you take bad words and reclaim them, they don’t have the power to hurt any more.
The Slut Walk wasn’t necessarily to persuade people to a cause, it was to raise awareness and put the spotlight on a sensitive and overlooked issue. It may not be the most accessible name, but I don’t think that was the point.
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Thank you for an interesting link.
A basic issue in this is Male sexuality. There have always been, and still are, strong spokesmen for accepting male desire as an uncontrollable force of nature. Within this concept, women are forced to balance their visual exposure between the pleasure of looking good and the fear of provoking mens´ primal instincts.
Unfortunately, Feminists seem to support this Male stereotype, claiming that women dress beautifully merely because they are men´s toys or victims to some kind of “pressure” from the male world.
This makes no sense, though. Women are their own creative minds in developing elegance and beauty, and men´s ability to control themselves has been constantly developing since the stone age. This development will continue, in spite of patriarchal resistance towards it in all kinds of wrappings.
Encouraging anybody´s freedom of expression is stepping up on the civilization ladder. The idea that your looks make you responsible for crimes committed against you has no right of life in a free society.
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Camille Reply:
August 1st, 2011 at 4:00 pm
I’m inclined to agree, definitely. The more we seek to avoid stereotypes of any kind and the more we focus on our ability to move forward, the better everyone will be.
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Merely wanna comment that you have a very decent web site, I love the style and design it really stands out.
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Camille Reply:
March 2nd, 2012 at 6:38 pm
Thanks so much.
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