Hey everyone!
I wanted to link to a really funny video I saw posted by Violet Blue this morning. It’s a video by Gavin McInnes called Are Women As Horny As Men? Check it out:
This video interesting for a number of reasons. First off, Gavin has some serious skills in terms of dick mobility and pole dancing. Good for him. More importantly, though, it’s funny. But why? I’m not saying it isn’t. I actually laughed out loud because of the excellent performances, the dick manoeuvring and all that, but it made me think that it’s a lot darker than it appears.
I guess it’s funny to see gender role reversal, but it’s not just that. We’re seeing women acting as aggressors and men acting as annoyed, scared and as sexual objects. And that’s funny because it’s usually the other way around. Get it? Women are usually the ones being pushed around and made to feel uncomfortable. Hilarious.
The truth is that women may be just as horny as men, but we don’t seem it because our culture seems to tie horniness to aggressive reactions, so men feel entitled to those reactions while women don’t have the permission to behave that way. Nor do I think most of us want to, but that could be because we’re products of dealing with this kind of behaviour. Just because we don’t usually act on these feelings and objectify men to the same degree doesn’t mean we don’t have strong visceral sexual reactions.
So why does male sexuality manifest this way? I think it’s because they’re allowed. We’ve always had this apologist notion that men are biologically wired to be aggressive, to be visual, to have difficulty with monogamy… Our society has evolved to shrug off the more “inoffensive” ways men act towards women, even when it makes us uneasy. That’s pretty awful. I’m certainly not coming to you with any answers about what to do in this situation, but the punchline of this story is that a man wouldn’t feel good about a world where women behaved like men. That’s sad.
Sorry for the rant… I could probably go on all day, but I need to get back to coding. Enjoy the video and my moment of critical thinking.
Actually… men talk about this all the time – what we’d do if women objectified us as much as we do them. Now.. maybe we’d get sick of it, but I would DEFINITELY love to live in a world where women stared me down, lusting after my Chewbacca body. I’d love the ability to capitalize on their desire. I’m not sure I would dance in a club, but a cam environment? Sure. Maybe even sex for money.
While men are more primal and aggressive, in general… it doesn’t mean women don’t exert control; they just don’t do it in the same ways as men. Femdom aside, I think women rule most relationships. It’s subtle, but they actually pull the strings. We’d never leave the couch if it weren’t for them. We’d probably grow into the furniture.
I don’t know that men are biologically wired to be aggressive, but the majority of women I’ve met prefer their men dominant in the bedroom (bedroom being the key). I think too many men confuse being “sensitive” with being a BFF. Again… this isn’t all women, but those I hear from tell me that they want a man to respect them and treat them as an equal – to notice the little things and to be affectionate and loving. They also want him to be a “MAN”, though, and “take” what he “wants.” They want to be spanked, hair pulled and face down in the sheets. Problem is… it has to be in the moment. Men struggle with containing the testosterone. That savage quality carries over into other areas… where jealousy and insecurity play out in immature, territorial games.
This is all within the context of a loving relationship, of course. I don’t know. I know we, as men, cross the line between admirer and perv every single day. We see exposed skin, pouty lips and delicious curves and we’re consumed with lust. Some of us are better at hiding it than others, but make no mistake… we’re all animals.
Great post. I wrote about this awhile back, but I think men and women objectify each other all the time – and I thin it’s healthy so long as there’s balance. I WANT my girlfriend to use me, sexually… but I also want her to love me and appreciate the entire package. Balance.
I agree with a lot of your points, but it’s hard for men to know what it’s like for women. Often being lusted after is scarier than you think. It’s unwanted and we feel like if the person decided to be physically aggressive, we might not be able to get away and with the statistics the way they are, this fear is pretty real. Therefore, we get this feeling whenever things feel wrong. Within a relationship, it’s great, but otherwise not so much.
I suspect that, as in most aspects of human behavior, there’s a whole gamet of different styles. The men who manifest sexual aggressiveness are a fairly obvious type, and there will likely be some women who prefer this type of man are are adept and handling him. But for those women who are not, I’m sure his behavior would well be scary.
But let’s not judge all men by this. Just because they’re not as easy to spot doesn’t mean that there are are not men who are much more discrete and subtle in their approach, who will appeal to a different type.
Horses for courses.
Absolutely! I would never judge all men by this. I know many many many men who aren’t like that at all. It’s just that being leered at lecherously on a subway has happened to many women at some point, and that’s something that’s less common among males, for example.
Actually men are objectified by women, more than you think, specially in liberated countries, women can also be agressive and they have been with me, specially the more you give her sweet Os the more she wants to hold to you d*ck.
The reason why most guys think that women are not that horny is because women are hypergamous, i.e. they seek only to mate with the top alpha males, i.e. the top 15-20% more desirable men on the planet get all the poon while the rest gest the left overs.
Trust me, if brad pit walked into a room, women would be throwing themselves at him…just look at any rock star, or famous person.
Women are attracted to men who have power, fame and are physically attractive and these women do chase these men aggressively whether overtly or not.
Men are definitely objectified by women, but the power dynamic is generally different because there are all sorts of social/biological elements that make us see men as strong and women as weak, which makes some forms of male objectification (leering, exerting power, forcing themselves upon women) very scary.
i would love to agree with you but im one of those quiet guys who dont get a look at onbcce let alone twice or chatted up. I ma old fashiond possibly a bit sexuakllky uptight. But for a guy with a smaller than average dick – i hate it whne my mates get laid and i dont – women go on and on and on and on about a man beiong sensitive , to nees ; etc well all you want is a n adonis with a big dick – guys like me visit hookers or masturbate at porn and feel like lepers . Women crave romance so guys like me – cant women see more than a dick and its size?
I don’t know about other women, but most people I know don’t care all that much about size. It’s all about confidence, which is the most important part.